My Beloved, My Betrayed
by TaylorTheWeird
Summary: AU ZADR - For decades Earth and Irk have been at war. Using the stolen identity of a dead Irken, the humans sent Dib to infultrate the Massive, but a small, egomaniacal janitorial drone has his own plans for the fate of the Irken race.
1. Chapter 1

**_My Beloved, My Betrayed_**

**Chapter 1**

**Invader Zim is (c) Jhonen Vasquez, who would probably cry if he knew what we fans force his characters into.**

**Beta: IrisCanine**

A small space-ship hurdled through the vast expanses of the universe. Although Irken in shape and style, its designers and pilot were not.

"And remember, Soldier, always brush your teeth-"

"Yeah, dad, I get it. Irkens don't get tooth decay..." groaned Dib Membrane, half tempted to turn off his father's transmission. He knew his mission was important, and any screw-up could possibly doom the human race, but it was still rather annoying to have a father who, after never paying any attention growing up, feeling the need to remind him to brush his teeth at the age of twenty-three. "Is that all you contacted me for, or are you going to tell me something else besides dental hygiene?"

"That and the fact that the Massive is about fourty-five minutes away. Oh, and don't forget, stay away from the Control Brains! You should be able to handle a simple reassigning, but anything else would blow your cover!" He held his finger up in a dramatic fashion as if to emphasize the point. "Good luck, Agent Membrane!" The professor gave his son a quick salute and the transmission cut out, leaving Dib staring at his own scowling reflection in the blank screen.

Dib turned away from the monitor, rolling his eyes at the same time. Couldn't his father call him 'Dib' for once, instead 'Agent Membrane' or 'Son? He sighed; at least now the 'My poor, insane' was left off of the latter.

He glanced into another computer monitor. As his father had predicted, the Massive grew closer and closer. _The moment of truth, _Dib silently told himself. After putting the ship on autopilot, he lifted himself out of the seat in front of the ship's controls. Dib stretched his back and heard it pop; flying a ship for days on end can cause all sorts of stiffness. Unfortunately, he also heard the slight tearing of skin. Dib winced, feeling the warm blood dripping down cold metal as he wrapped his arm around his body to try to reach the difficult part of his back. _I'll probably never get used to that... _

After stretching his legs some, Dib moved towards a storage closet in the back of the ship. He paused, and looked back at the controls of the ship. Namely, the screen showing the Massive.

Dib sighed, and removed his shirt, exposing two circular ports on his back underneath his shoulder blades, one underneath the other. Small amounts of blood oozed from the edges, creating a fluid, morbid outline that contrasted greatly with the cold unfeeling of the metal. The moving cloth accidentally caught on one of them, pulling the tender skin again. Dib cursed under his breath. More blood pooled up and dripped lazily down his back. Dib grabbed a towel and efficiently wiped it away. A nearby medical kit was spotted, and he quickly used that to administer aid to himself. Dib checked the screens again, and cursed loudly. He had wasted too much time seeing to his stupid mistakes.

Dib looked into the full-size mirror mounted outside the closet. Staring back at him was a young human adult. It was a tad depressing, although exhilarating, to know that it may be the last time that he saw his own reflection. Gingerly, he touched the edges of the ports, one of many things changed about him for this mission. He knew that they were important for his survival, but it didn't mean he had to like them. Of all the things the Earthen scientists did to him as to prepare him for this, it was the ports that made Dib feel the most uncomfortable. Burning the memories of a dead Irken into his brain – he could handle that. After all, he was always looking for paranormal knowledge, and what better than straight from the mind of an extraterrestrial? Replacing his eyes with ocular implants – no more glasses. Just... the ports were so _inhuman_. Although humans had PAK technology, it wasn't used, mainly because the lack of mechanical dependence for survival was something that the species took pride in. Dib just hoped that if he managed to complete his assignment, Professor Membrane would be able to remove them. Then again, that was only hope; they had taken a rather large chunk of flesh and connected the ports to his delicate nervous system.

Dib opened the door to the storage closet. He bent down and pulled a circular object. A modified Irken PAK. He held it over his back and gritted his teeth, both in disgust and in knowing what would soon ensue. Two cables shot out of the device and attached themselves to Dib's ports, causing the human's body to have a small spasm and an explosion of pain. God, another thing he would never get used to. A brief thought passed his mind how the pain was one reason why Irkens kept them on all the time – aside from the whole dying in ten minutes thing. Dib quickly performed a few procedures, checking if everything was working correctly.

When he was thoroughly satisfied, Dib looked at the monitor at the front of the ship again. He had about thirty minutes left. The Massive would probably make contact in another fifteen. Dib figured that it was probably time that he should get ready.

Dib activated a program not originally included in the PAK. A flash of light erupted from it, and then green replaced pale human flesh tone. Dib admitted, he had to hand it to his father – the newest cloaking program truly was amazing. It managed to cast a hologram, and made it actually tangible by changing the molecular structure of the air around it from a gas to a solid. That way, if anyone touched any part of Dib that really didn't exist, they wouldn't go through it and blow his cover.

No longer stood a skinny, tall, young human male, but a skinny, tall, young Irken female. Dib stood in front of mirror. Staring back at him was a stranger. Despite the fact that he had activated the hologram many times before, Dib still never got used to it. Already, he felt a pang of longing for his usual reflection. Out of instinct, Dib touched the foreign face that was his own. No. Not his. Skeeb's. Skeeb, the Irken that Dib's PAK, new appearance, and the memories burned into Dib's brain had originally belonged to. Dib never really felt any connection to the Irken soldier, but he couldn't really bring himself to think of any of it as his.

Dib examined the features for what had to be the umpteenth time. Skeeb's head was a similar shape to his own – slightly square-ish, but not too angular. The Irken eyes were somewhat circular in shape, and a golden-brownish color, the result of two recessive genes of red and green – a rare combination in an Irken. Two abnormally thick lekku started above where human ears would be. Near the ends, they curved back into a delicate, yet angular spiral, showing the femininity of the Irken whose identity he had stolen. The triangular mark of the Elite adorned his forehead, and an Irken form of eyelashes adorned his eyes. All the things that made Dib, Dib were hidden under and Irken exterior. None of it real, of course, but convincing just the same.

It didn't really bother Dib that Skeeb was female; he had never really cared too much about anything that had to do with gender. In many ways, he sort of felt he could be described as androgynous, both in looks and in attitude. Dib admitted it to himself, he might have been more feminine than most of the other guys he'd met, but to him it really didn't matter. In fact, it was one of the reasons Dib had been chosen as the one to carry out this mission.

After examining himself, Dib dug inside the closet again, only this time to pull out the armor of the Irken Elite. After much struggling to put it on (how Irkens wore such armor all day, everyday eluded Dib) Dib made his way to the controls at the front of the ship. He should be expecting a transmission. As if on cue, the largest of the monitors came to life as contact was made.

The face of a green-eyed Irken with a collar that covered his mouth appeared on the screen. Dib recognized his uniform showing that the Irken was one of the communication officers aboard the Massive.

"Insert your I.D. into port for verification," the green-eyed Irken stated, with a hint of boredom in his voice. Dib complied, making a long tube appear from the PAK insert itself into a computer on the ship's control panel. He looked to the screen. The communication officer was reading the info from the port on another monitor.

A brief pause before, "Welcome back, Elite Skeeb. When you arrive, report for duty before the Tallest." a small bow, then he cut the transmission.

Dib let out a sigh. At least his mission didn't crash and burn at the first step. A new feeling of dread soon replaced the newfound relief, though. The computer chip in Dib's brain that held the memories of Skeeb told him that the Irken that he was impersonating was supposed to be somewhat of a prodigy. Skeeb had completed military training on Devastis with top scores, as well as on Hobo 13, where she successfully led her team to victory in record time. Not to mention, at 5'9" Skeeb was very tall for her species. Although Dib was a few inches taller, making the appearance that Skeeb had grown three inches during her departure, height wouldn't make up for everything, and he had some big shoes to fill – figuratively speaking, of course.

It was sheer luck that after completing his training, Skeeb had requested to take a vacation and learn more about the galaxy before going to the Massive and becoming one of the upper ranks of the Empire. Even luckier that the humans managed to capture her, allowing them to set one of their most devious plans in motion. The Irken Empire's strategy for the conquest of the universe had long stood in the way of plans of the Earthen Regime's. The humans had devised this plan for Irk's demise long before Skeeb was captured – long before Dib was even born. All they had needed to begin was an upper-class Irken.

Despite his inexperience as a soldier, Dib was the natural choice as the one to carry out the mission. Intelligent, clever, brave, open-minded, and determined – not to mention, he was the perfect build and height to pass off as the Irken. Although young, Dib's knowledge of intergalactic beings was incredibly vast. He was the one backed by Professor Membrane, the brains behind all Earthen operations. Also, the other most likely candidate, Johnny C., seemed a tad bit too unstable for the job.

At first the Earthen government was a little reluctant to even consider Dib for the mission. He was a valuable asset – the highly intelligent son of Earth's greatest scientific mind and the heir and future the powerful Membrane cooperation, which had more or less most of the economic and political power on the planet. But Dib had made it quite clear that he had no interest in pursuing the "_Real Science_" that earned his father so much fame and admiration. He was more into para-science, although extraterrestrials fell into this category; a increasingly respectable science since his great-great-great grandfather managed to capture an Irken, bringing Earth into its age of intergalactic conquest and, coincidentally, its territorial war with Irk.

Membrane "volunteered" Dib for this mission he was currently on, mainly seeing how Dib would never live up to his father's expectations, because his interests lay in the paranormal. In all honesty, although it hurt Dib that, simply out of disappointment, his father had decided to send him on possibly one of the most dangerous missions for any human, Dib really was excited to undertake this assignment

So here he was; the one who would perform what was easily the human race's riskiest and most direct assault on the Irken Armada, and with only two year's training under his belt.

Dib shifted nervously in his chair. The hatch opened into the docking bay of the massive. The human in Irken guise swallowed his fear, and entered the giant vessel that housed the military elite of his enemy.

* * *

As Dib exited his small ship, he couldn't help but look around in amazement. The Massive was just as its name described – really, really big. Even the docking bay was enormous. All around him were large, powerful ships; Spittle Runners, Viral Tanks, Ring Cutters, Shuvvers, Rippers, and even a few junky looking Voot Cruisers. There were some ships that Dib figured humans had never laid eyes on before. 

"Ma'am?" Dib's thoughts were cut short with the arrival of a small, stout Irken. Dib looked him over. He was rather short. And ugly. Dressed in the reddish-pink uniform of an Irken soldier, he seemed overly eager to please. "I was ordered by the Tallest to greet you as you arrive and to guide you through the massive."

"Thank you, uh..." Dib's hand moved in a circular motion, trying to goad a name out of the short Irken.

The red eyes of the small green creature lit up considerably with excitement; it wasn't often that an Irken of such height and rank acknowledged anything about a shorter Irken. "My name's Skoodge." He flashed Dib a creepy smile that made the human back up a few steps.

"Um... nice to meet you... I'm Skeeb." He tried to show the pudgy Irken a friendly smile in an attempt to hide his uncomfortable-ness. One of the first things that he learned when he was preparing for this mission was that he should attempt to gain influence over as many Irkens as he could, regardless of their rank or height. Blind loyalty can cloud eyes to one's actions, and opens one up to manipulation. Considering how willing Skoodge was, Dib figured that it wouldn't be too hard to win him over. "So... could you-"

"I conquered Blorch!" he randomly proclaimed, puffing his chest out. Skoodge was obviously trying to impress the taller of the two, but ended up looking ridiculous. He flashed that creepy smile again. Dib twitched.

"Blorch..." That name sounded familiar to Dib. Quickly scanning Skeeb's memories, Dib came across a match. "That's the parking structure planet, right?" Dib had been under the impression that Skoodge's demented smile couldn't get any creepier. It did.

"You've heard of it!" he exclaimed, hopping up and down, unable to contain his excitement.

"Yeah... That's a nice planet, there... uh... I parked my ship there before... and, um... and it was still there afterwards... yup... Good for parking... and stuff..." There's only so much one can say about a parking structure. At least Skoodge didn't seem to be able to discern praise from complete bullshit.

Skoodge puffed his chest out even more, making him too top heavy. Needless to say, the chubby Irken fell over. Dib's face contorted to a look of slight disgust; the thump he expected was more of a "squish" noise.

"Interesting fact about Blorch – it's the-"

"Mm hmm... that's nice. How about you lead me to the Tallest now?" Tact wasn't one of Dib's strong points, and it didn't help that Skoodge's behavior was becoming slightly frightening.

Skoodge nodded, completely missing the cue to shut up. "Oh, yes! Don't want to make the Almighty Tallest wait, now, do we? Since you seem so interested in it, I can tell you all about Blorch while we walk!" It was becoming increasingly difficult for Dib to resist the mighty urge to either (attempt) to wrap his fingers around the creepy, small Irken's neck or to slam his own head against a nearby wall until his brain-meats spilled out.

**

* * *

**"Surrounded by Slaughtering Rat People - I thought I was done for. Then, I remembered the explosive device I had hidden inside the spleen of their Gornoch. Quickly thinking, I reached into the bag over my shoulder and grabbed the laser cleverly inside my sandwich..." 

"Uh huh... that's nice... Say, how much farther until we reach the Tallest?" Dib had never thought that one could be in physical pain from simply listening to something so annoying, at least, never believed until just then. Dib's mind was at the point where it simply shut down and running on autopilot.

"We've still got a ways to go. They don't call it the Massive for no reason, you know."

Dib simply let out a long, exasperated groan. Skoodge began talking again. Dib was ready to fall into walking coma again when something cyan caught the cloaked human's eye. Dib stopped in his tracks to get a better look; anything was better than listening to Skoodge's diarrhea of the mouth. Upon closer inspection, Dib realized that it was a small, slightly junky looking SIR unit. It struck him a little strange that a SIR would be roaming the halls of the Massive; SIRs were generally reserved for Invaders.

The small, blue robot noticed Dib's gaze and immediately began a straight-legged walk over to him. Dib recoiled a little, mainly because he had no idea what to do in the situation. He gave a feminine wave, trying to keep his guise. The small robot stared up at the taller Dib. Round cyan eyes met golden ones; staring, as if they could see into his soul. See through his disguise. See the very core of his being.

"YOU'S ALL PINK!!!" It cried in a mind-splatteringly loud shriek. Dib had to fight every urge within his body not to hold his ears and go for the fake lekku instead. If took a few seconds for reorientation before he finally gathered what the small robot screamed.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" he responded, fear beginning to form around the edges of his voice.

"But iz _truuuuuuuuuee_... " it whined. "And you's gots them flappy thingies on the sides of yo' head! MAKE THEM FLY!" and with that, it promptly jumped on to Dib's head clung onto it. "There's fuzzy stuff on here! I'ma make it mah friend! Wha's that in da middle of yo' face? Iz all funny lookin'!"

_Oh shit, oh shit oh shit ohshitoshitoshitoshit..._ the words rebounded in Dib's mind, not allowing him to think, to speak, to take any action. _It can see through..._

"GIR!" A piercing, nasally voice echoed off the walls. Simply the sound of it was enough to cause Dib to break out of his stupor of realization enough to flinch and its slicing sound. "Where are you? Come to ZIIIIIIIIIIM!!"

The bluish eyes of the robot, GIR, glowed a sharp crimson before reverting to their natural color. It jumped off of the head of Dib, but otherwise ignored the command. "Tha's mah mastah! HI MASTAH!! COME MEET THE FLAPPY THINGEH!!" Dib had to wonder if this robot ever stopped screaming.

Despite the command for the robot to return, a particularly small Irken carrying a mop - Dib had to assume that this was the one who announced himself as "ZIIIIIIIIIIM" - entered through a small hallway connecting to the main one. "GIR! What have you gotten yourself into this time?" He looked upwards, only then noticing that he and GIR were not the only ones present. Ignoring Skoodge, he turned his sights onto Dib. "Oh... eh... Taller... uh... I see you met my... SIR unit."

The chip implanted into Dib's brain informed him of the significance of the strange reddish-pink jumpsuit of GIR's owner. Secretly, it was a bit of a thrill to be the only human to ever witness an Irken janitor – but the robot's discovery of his true appearance killed most of the rather pointless excitement that he would have felt, if under different circumstances.

GIR pulled at his master's clothing, throwing the small Irken off balance. "Mastah! This iz Flappy! Iz all pink! JUS' LIKE A PIGGEH!!"

Feeling that GIR's nonsense with the important Irken that he was supposed to escort to the Tallest had gone on long enough, Skoodge spoke up. "Zim! What have I told you about keeping that insane robot under control?!" Skoodge grabbed onto the collar of Zim's suit and shook the smaller Irken. GIR hung on for the ride, squealing in fits of glee the entire time. "You remember what the Tallest said last time they ran into him. You're lucky the two of you made it out alive." he then leaned towards Zim, whispering into the other Irken's lekku. Dib strained to hear, but the only thing he managed to catch was ' _and the Tallest really want to impress her_'. Whatever else Skoodge said to Zim, it seemed to have a profound effect on the small janitor.

Zim released himself from Skoodge's grip and gave a small salute to Dib. "My apologies, Elite Skeeb. I was not aware that I was in the presence of one whose greatness is almost comparable to the greatness that is ZIIIM!" He raised his hands in triumph for reasons known only to himself. The sheer irony of his occupation as a janitorial staff member was not lost on Dib.

Dib could only fall into stunned silence, wondering if there was something horribly wrong with every member of the Irken race. What he had seen so far seemed to support that theory. The fact that GIR was currently knawing on his fingers seemed to put their technology into that category as well.

Dib let out a shriek as he pried the demented robot off his arm, and carefully nursed his fingers. Skoodge looked shocked and mildly worried. Zim seemed to act as if this were perfectly normal behavior.

"Yew even taste like pink!"

"Yeah, that's GIR. He's insane." Zim said indifferently as if what had just transpired was simply normal behavior. Skoodge inspected the Taller's hologram-encased fingers for any damage before shooting Zim a death glare.

"But maaaaastah, she really _iz _all pink..."

"YOU LIE!" he shrieked with an accusatory finger pointed towards GIR.

Skoodge started pushing Dib forwards and away from the psychotic little janitor and his equally mad, if not more crazy, SIR. "Um... that's all very nice, Zim, but we reeeeeeeeaally have to get going to the Tallest. You know how they don't like to wait..."

"Yes, yes, of course! Not even the amazingness of ZIM is an excuse for being late. And Taller Skeeb, if you ever have a need for someone to clean up one of your MIGHTY MESSES, do not hesitate to call upon mighty janitor ZIIIIM!" Zim gave another salute before grabbing his SIR by the arm and literally dragging it away in a straight-legged walk.

"Awwww... but I wanna play wi' da fluffy on Flappy's head..." Despite being dragged face-on-the-floor, GIR seemed more disappointed with the fact that he couldn't stay with his new friend.

When both Skoodge and the disguised Dib managed to escape earshot of Zim, Dib had to ask Skoodge the question that was on his mind.

"Skoodge, what the HELL just happened back there?!"

The short, ugly Irken looked upwards at the larger of the two. "That was Zim... Zim is... well... uh... Zim... Don't let him or GIR get to you. They're just... different." Skoodge's voice dropped to a hushed whisper. "I'll tell you about him after you speak with the Tallest. They really don't want to remember."

"Remember what?" Dib inquired.

"Later." Skoodge's voice returned to its normal volume. "Well, looks like we're here. Just go through that door. Good luck, Ma'am!" Skoodge gave Dib a small salute, and scurried off to do Skoodge-things.

Dib looked up at the hefty double doors that led to the Tallests' private quarters. Large and ornate, Dib paused before them, wondering if he should knock first. No, the Tallest were awaiting him, they should know he was coming in. He gingerly cracked one open and paused again to swallow the lump in his throat before opening them wider, not knowing what to expect on the other side.

**Hey there, fair readers! Welcome to my first Invader Zim fanfiction! **

**I've been talking about it for a while on deviantART, and I know many have expressed an interest in it - so here it is. I'll just say this - there isn't going to be an update schedual, but I've already gotten the first few chapters finished, and random parts of various others done. Just FYI, the rating may change, but for now it'll stay at T.**

**The whole idea of this story started with the thought _"You know... there really needs to be more fanfiction and fanart with Dib in a PAK..."_ and it just kind of took off from there. You know it's true, somewhere... deep inside of you. So very deep, but it's there... somewhere...**

**Feel free to comment. Actually, I encourage you to. ****-waggles eyebrows-  
**


	2. Chapter 2

_**My Beloved, My Betrayed**_

**Chapter 2**

**Invader Zim is (c) Jhonen Vasquez, who, unfortunately, is **_**not**_** the hobo under my bed...**

**Beta: Mireia**

Dib carefully opened the door of the Tallests' chamber, trying to be extra slow as to not attract any unwanted attention, despite the muffled noises coming from inside. As the door slowly opened, the noise, which was now identifiable as some sort of bouncy, squeaky music, intensified until it were at almost a deafening level. Cautiously, Dib slipped inside.

Instantly the music stopped. And both Tallest turned to see who had invaded the sanctity of their private chamber.

Tallest Red was draped over the arm of a rather large (and comfortable looking) couch. He seemed to be balancing half a dozen donuts on his forehead, and around his mouth was blue icing of some sort. For some reason, light pink bows decorated his antenna. In his hand was a remote control pointed towards some sort of large Irken stereo device.

Purple was hiding behind the couch, only his antenna and his arms visible. Sitting on his hands were two demented looking puppets, a heroic purple Irken of some sort – Dib assumed the puppet to be Tallest Purple himself – and a demonic humanoid creature that resembled Professor Membrane. Currently they were engaged in rigorous battle; that is, if rigorous battle consisted of one continuously whacking the other with his head. The Irken seemed to be winning.

Scattered around the two of them were various snack wrappers, toys, and other puppets, making the floor almost impossible to see.

"Uh... this isn't what this looks like..." sheepishly said the one clothed in purple. Red simply nodded, allowing all six donuts to fall off of his head.

"Saaaay – these are our special Tallest chambers. Just what are you not-the-Tallest-person doing here, anyway?" asked Tallest Red before he scrambled to pick up and devour his fallen donuts, earning a small flicker of disgust from Dib.

"My Tallest –"

"Yeahhh... we were having special Tallest time. What makes you think that you can barge in on us?" Purple interjected, mouthing his words through his puppet.

"But, my Tallest, I –"

"Why are you still here? Go on, scram..." Tallest Red lazily pulled himself off of the arm of the couch and bent down to grab a large remote with a single red button. He aimed it at the music device, ready to turn it back on again to an earsplitting volume.

"BUTALMIGHTYTALLESTIWASTOLDTOREPORTTOYOUASSOONASIMADEITTOTHEMASSIVE." Dib blurted out. Immediately realizing his possibly fatal mistake of talking back to the two monarchs of the Irken Empire, Dib winced; his false antenna flattening upon his head. Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were not known throughout the expanses of the universe for any acts of kindness and understanding. He had heard tales of how one of the Invaders during Operation Impending Doom II had been blasted into his conquered planet simply for being ugly. Quickly, Dib made a mental note that if he managed to survive, he'd have to ask Skoodge who the unlucky Irken was, and possibly how any Irken could be uglier than Skoodge was.

Instead of immediately damning him to the Irken variation of prison or throwing him out of the airlock, the two taller Irkens simply stared at Dib as if he had lost his mind.

"And you areeeeee..." Purple inquired as he floated closer to Dib, almost ready to poke him with a puppeted hand.

"Uh... My name's Skeeb..." Dib raised one of his armored hands and gave a small, nervous wave. "I was told that the two of you had been interested in my progress at Devastis and training at Hobo 13, and wanted me here on the Massive after I went off on my own a bit to... um... to learn about our glorious empire...?"

"Skeeb... Skeeeeeb... _Skeeb_..." Red mused to himself, trying to recall the name.

"Oooo! Ah re'e'her!" Shouted Purple excitedly while chewing potato chips that had seemingly appeared out of thin air; although more likely found on the incredibly messy floor. The puppets were still on his hands. Purple swallowed and repeated himself. "I remember! You know, that one time we went to check out all the little smeeties training to be cold, heartless killing-machines, and we were all 'Ohh! This one's tall!' and then we had some mozzarella sticks!"

"Yeahhh... those were some pretty good mozzarella sticks..." Red drifted into thoughts of snacks long past.

Seven minutes passed.

"Um... My Tallest?"

They both snapped back into reality. Tallest Red was the first to respond "Oh, right. Well, despite the fact you haven't actually had any _real_ military experience, we feel that your highly notable accomplishments during training, as well as your impressive height, have earned you a high position in the strategic division of our military. Therefore, we'll allow you to obtain the rank of Brigadier General, as well as apprentice under our Elite General."

Red turned to Purple, to see if he had anything to add on, but Purple had his head in a chip bag. Red turned back to Skeeb.

"The control brain encoding of your new rank and assignments will clear up any confusion you may be feeling."

Dib's head was swimming. _Brigadier General?!_ The concept of it was absurd. _Beyond_ absurd. Sure, things worked differently in the Irken government, and many aspects of it were very different than that of Earth, such as height being such an important factor, but this was completely illogical. Many people worked their whole lives to achieve that rank – numerous not succeeding in it - and here he was, simply having it handed to him. Suddenly, the rapid churning of his mind came to a speeding halt. No. Not him. He had done nothing to deserve anything. Not anything at all. _Skeeb_; this was all meant for her, and here he was, taking all the glory she should have had. Despite the fact that Skeeb was the enemy: despite the fact that he was currently trying to destroy everything that she had believed in and stood for (and he knew, because the chip implanted into his brain with all her memories let him know): despite all this, Dib still felt a pang of guilt.

"Th-thank you, my Tallest." Dib gave a deep bow of respect and lingered at the lowest point. "This truly is an honor."

"Yes, yes, this is a very important day of your young life... you'll be notified when your PAK encoding is ready... Blah blah blah... Hurry it up! I wanna get back to my puppet show!" Tallest Purple whined.

Red patted his noisy counterpart on the head. "Don't worry, we're almost done. Then we can have more puppets." Purple clapped happily. Red waited until the other was done before he spoke to Dib again. "We should have someone to ready the onboard control brain in order to reprogram your PAK before the day is out." With the large remote still in hand, Red let out an excited shriek as he pushed the red button. The obnoxious, shrill music started blasting again. Dib took this as a sign that his presence was no longer wanted and sneaked out, softly closing the large door behind him

Outside was Skoodge, waiting patiently. Dib had to wonder if the hideous little Irken was waiting outside the whole time.

"So... Skoodge... ... ... what are you still doing here?"

"I told you – my orders were to guide you around the Massive... and I really have nothing better to do..." Skoodge said in a focused voice, showing the soldier he was. He started off in a march of sorts, expecting Dib to follow. The disguised human shrugged and followed the short Irken.

* * *

"And over here is a toilet. And in the stall next to it is another toilet. And next to it is..." Skoodge was currently pointing to a strange device that resembled a human toilet... well, if you squinted real hard.

Dib started twitching and had the incredible urge to rip his hair out in frustration. "I don't think they meant for you to point out every single toilet in the restroom when you were told to show me around." He was getting annoyed; it had already been two hours and the majority of that time was spent in broom closets and restrooms.

Skoodge tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... well, I suppose you could figure what's in each stall on your own..." Dib nodded slowly, emphasizing his point. "Well... if you really want to, we could skip the tour of the storage facilities..." Dib nodded again, this time with more fervor.

The two walked down the many halls of the Massive in silence for another hour and a half, the only words spoken between them were from Skoodge pointing out various rooms of importance. Quickly becoming bored out of his mind, Dib decided to vocalize something that had been bouncing off the walls of his brains.

"That janitor; Zim... what's the story behind him? When I asked about him earlier, you acted as if it were some giant taboo subject. Something that had to do with the Tallest and them not wanting to remember it?" Dib pulled his face into a pout that he had seen human girls use when they wanted something. He hoped that it had the desired effect on the feminine Irken lips of Skeeb.

After a bit of thought, Skoodge caved in. "Fine, I'll tell you, but let's get somewhere that's emptier." He looked around, stressing the other Irkens who walked around them, also using the main hallway.

Skoodge led Dib to a small hallway, obviously not used or cleaned often, judging by the level of filth that had accumulated on the floor. He then pulled Dib into one of the rooms. It was small, empty, and equally filthy. "Ok, I think we can talk freely here."

Dib poked his head out the electronic sliding door to look down the hall. Finding it deserted, he pulled his head back in and carefully shut the door. "So... about Zim. What is with him? Why the secretiveness about all this?"

Skoodge briefly lost his intensity, slouched, and started twiddling his thumbs. "The Tallests, as well as the Control Brains, want to keep this knowledge a secret from the public, and have even gone so far as to block this information from going into the collective. The only reason I'm telling you this is because... there's some talk that you might become the next Tallest..." Skoodge quickly started talking again before Dib could respond to this new information.

"It all started when Zim was hatched out of the Smeetery. As soon as his PAK had received its first encoding, he immediately shoved the next smeet to be encoded up the chute from which it came, causing a backup which eventually resulted in the collapse of Irk's power and communications for five years-"

"Wait?!" Dib interjected, receiving information from the chip implanted into his brain. "You mean to tell me that _Zim_ was responsible for Horrible Painful Overload Day?!"

Skoodge nodded, and then held up a hand to keep Dib from asking any further questions. "I'm not done yet. Ten years later, when Zim and I were going through our military training downloads, he wanted to see Irk's surface. Zim managed to convince me to go with him. When a Dermis Prowler Security Droid found us, Zim threw me at it, focusing its attention away from him. In attempts to catch me, the robot ended up causing massive explosions-"

"Resulting in Horrible Painful Overload Day Part II and Irk being plunged into darkness for four more years..."

"Yes. Then, afterwards he was transferred to Vort to participate in military research. While there he managed to generate a creature that ate both Tallest Miyuki _and_ Tallest Spork."

Dib's mouth was hanging open in shock. _THAT_ had been Zim as well?! Dib tried to put it in perspective for Earth culture. It would be the equivalent as the entire council of President-Men and Professor Membrane had died, not once, but twice.

Noticing Dib's expression, Skoodge nodded. "Yeah, I know. ANYWAY – Zim went on to Invader training where he just barely managed to pass. Then came Operation Impending Doom I... and we both know what happened then..." Dib nodded, his mouth still agape at all the mindless destruction that seemed to follow Zim around.

"WHY IS HE WORKING IN THE MASSIVE AFTER ALL THESE HORRIBLE CRIMES?!" Dib cried, complete with exaggerated gestures.

Skoodge poked Dib twice, trying to pull him out of his small fit of madness. "I'm not done yet."

Dib paused, his waving arms frozen in place. "Oh, carry on, then."

"Anyway, after the Impending Doom incident, Zim was reinstated as a food drone and banished to Foodcortia, where he remained until Irk pulled itself back together enough for Operation Impending Doom II. When news of the newest invasion reached Foodcortia, Zim left, disregarding his banishment, and headed towards Conventia for the Great Assigning. Not knowing what to do with him, The Tallests eventually made a deal with planet Meekrob, who, at that time did not belong to the Irken Empire, but were its allies and trading partners. They asked for them to destroy Zim, and, in turn, would be safe from any future Impending Doom operations and from all other conquest."

"But wait, we _own_ Meekrob. We went through a small war to gain dominion over them. Are you saying that the Tallest lied to them?"

"Let me finish! So Zim was sent to "invade" the Meekrob. Although his plans for dominating the planet always failed, as did all Meekrob's plans to destroy Zim, somehow everything always ended in some sort of horrible explosion and massive devastation. Eventually, the Meekrob began to believe that the Tallest had lied to them, and sent Zim not to be destroyed, but to actually conquer their planet, or at least ravage it and make it easy for Irk to invade. They declared war on our empire. Many vessels were called out of the organic sweep in order to fight the oncoming Meekrob forces, causing Operation Impending Doom II to go much slower than originally planned, and afterwards, it immediately rushed to Meekrob. That's one reason the Armada never made its way to Invader Tenn's planet for revenge after she was captured and destroyed, like they normally would have..."

Dib spoke up again, simply to stay in character. "In retrospect, it should have. Then Earth wouldn't have gotten so powerful with that stolen technology."

Skoodge nodded. "But we're talking about Zim here, not the Irthenoids. With the full Armada at Meekrob, victory was Irk's for the taking, but we still suffered heavy casualties. The Smeeteries had to work overtime in order to replenish Irk's population."

"But, if he's done all these horrible things against the Empire, even if accidentally, why hasn't his PAK been drained?" Dib asked the small Irken.

"Will you stop asking questions and just let me finish?! ... I mean... I was just about to explain that, my Taller..." Skoodge was beginning to lose patience with Dib's constant questions. It was already risky enough that he was giving away this precious info. The Irken simply wanted to get it over with.

"Oh, sorry... I'll try not to interrupt again..."

"Alright, after the Irken-Meekrob war, the Tallests felt it was time to get rid of Zim. They sent him to Judgmentia and personally oversaw an Existance Evaluation. In the end, with all these disasters coming to light before them, the Control Brains declared him a defective." Skoodge paused for dramatic effect.

"But why-" Dib received a dark look. "Oh... sorry."

"When they began to drain his PAK data, it was so corrupt that it caused them to go insane. The data was returned, and Zim was allowed to go free. The conditions of the Brains were so severe, they had to replace them.

"The Tallests, disgusted with their new knowledge of the extent of Zim's destruction, as well as the fact that their most powerful Control Brains were not capable of destroying him - having it go the other way around – first tried to hire well known assassins to kill him. After the mercenaries' failures, they decided that to place Zim in a maximum security prison." Dib raised an eyebrow, curious as to how he managed to escape one of those.

"Zim stayed there without major incident for several years, until a mysterious, horrible explosion destroyed everyone and everything in the prison – except for him. He was moved to another prison, where, a few months afterwards, the same thing happened.

"The Tallests then tried abandoning him on a few deserted planets, but somehow every time various groups managed to find him and return him to civilization.

"Realizing that they couldn't think of anything that would work, the Tallest put some of Irk's greatest minds together in order to see if they could find a fitting punishment. The general consensus was to place him in job so horrible, so lowly, so brain-numbing, that he would be miserable and unable to do much of anything else. They agreed upon the rank of janitorial drone. After all, Zim constantly made his own messes; it was only fitting that he would be eternally forced to clean up other Irkens'. If he was stationed on the Massive, then there would always be powerful soldiers to keep a close eye on him, just in case.

"Tallest Red was, at first, very wary of this idea, but Tallest Purple was all for it. Eventually, Tallest Red gave in, unable to think of anything himself, and allowed Zim to work as a janitorial drone here. He's been here for about twenty years, and so far there hasn't been any large-scale damage." Skoodge sighed, finally finished with his story. "Now do you have any questions?"

Dib put his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "I think it's kind of strange that after causing so much destruction that Zim was placed close to much of the large-scale weaponry."

"Yes, but he's not allowed near those, and there are guards stationed only to make sure that Zim doesn't get close."

"Yes, but-" before Dib could finish, a beeping came from Skoodge's PAK.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I need to take this..." A lengthy arm emerged from the ugly Irken's PAK, and a holographic image of a communications officer was emitted from it. Skoodge once again resumed his military-esque intensity and snapped into a sharp salute. "Personnel Skoodge reporting, sir!"

"Skoodge, you are needed in meeting room 293B of wing 523."

"Sir, I was already instructed to allow Taller Skeeb to be better introduced to the ship." Skoodge said, his salute still in effect and unwavering.

"This takes precedence. Please report to the assigned meeting room." The hologram flickered out of existence.

Dib allowed his holographic lekku to raise in question.

"I'm sorry, Taller Skeeb, but I have to attend to this... whatever I have to do... You remember the way back into the main hall, right?" Dib nodded "Well, just take a right once you get there, follow down the third hallway on your left, and that will be the living quarters. Someone there should be able to tell you where yours will be. Good luck!" He gave Dib a small salute, opened the door, and scurried down the hall.

Dib slowly exited out into the empty hallway as well, after Skoodge was long-gone. Despite the fact that this hall was obviously not used too often, Dib still took his time observing the structure. The walls were very high and a dark reddish-purple color. Up on the ceiling was a mass of dark, ominous looking tubes and wires snaking their way down and out of the hall. Despite the shortness of the Irken race, the hall seemed to focus on immense height, with even the doors being taller than those back on earth.

As Dib focusing on the doors, he realized he could faintly hear a voice through one. Despite the muffling of it through the metal, he could tell that the owner was obviously shouting loudly, based on the sheer amount of energy within the sound. After a bit of listening, he managed to discern which door it was. The disguised human put his ear to the door.

"But... ... ... Lard-Nar, I... ... ... yes, I managed to retrieve... ... ... ... suspect nothing... You forget, that... ... ...amazing because I am ZIM!!!... ... the Resisty... ..."

Dib heard all he needed to hear, and quickly left into the main hallway before the owner of the nasally voice discovered him listening, knowing that somehow, he managed to get himself into something much larger than he initially thought by taking this mission...

**IS IT TRUE? IS THIS AN UPDATE!? **

**Yes, my readers, it is. I can feel your excitement; it's absolutely stifling. ...Hey, I **_**warned**_** you I'd update sporadically.**

**I figured, because this is a slightly futuristic AU, the ones in charge of Earth would be an alliance called the "Council of President-Men." Admit it – it's amusing.**

**Anyway – I'm really thrilled with all the positive feedback I'm getting. This is far more than I expected, which is absolutely great! **

**Thank you ****SharpiesInAGayRainbow, qadgiqfkbgf, IndigoClockwork, microwaved noodles, fanfictionfan123, BarkingPup, anonymous, DTGC, ffnetlover, LoneHowler, Yeyana Valentine,**** and ****Rambie**** for reviewing! Keep them coming; I feed off of reviews much like a leech feeds off blood... I just can't stop sucking on them... It's really becoming an addiction... **


	3. Chapter 3

_**My Beloved, My Betrayed**_

**Chapter 3**

**Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez, of whom I still haven't magically morphed into... alas... **

**Beta: (none... I'm lazy)**

"Elite Soldier Skeeb, please step onto the platform before the Control Brain," said one of the communications officers, motioning towards Dib to step up onto the platform. Dib gave a single nod. He struggled to fight the fierce panic rising in his chest, or at least keep it from being noticeable. Hopefully, it would come across as excitement and anticipation.

Looking around, the disguised human noticed the expressions of those around him. No one looked suspicious, only respectful, bored, or jealous. High up, in a glass box, sat the Tallest, although they didn't seem to be paying much attention to the events below.

He knew that his PAK should be able to handle a reassigning, but if a Control Brain did anything other than that, such as look at his files, status, or statistics, his cover would be blown. Dib simply hoped that it wouldn't do anything of that sort. He didn't want his mission to be over before he could even do anything... but above that, he _reaaaaally_ didn't want to die, much less at the hands of his enemies.

Dib allowed his feet to take him onto the dais. The machinery in the Control Brain whirred as it came to life.

"Irken Elite Soldier Skeeb – in recognition of your superior accomplishments on both Devistis and Hobo 13, as well as your extraordinary height, you have been selected for re-encoding."

Immediately, wires erupted from the ceiling. Dib felt some sort of static charge in the air before noticing that the panels of his PAK were opening of their own accord. Once again, he fought the dread pulsating through his body. The wires snaked their way into the PAK and inserted themselves into the appropriate places, almost as if guided by an invisible hand. The disguised human was slowly lifted into the air by the attached wires - a sensation fairly similar to using the hidden PAK legs. A nearby screen blinked to life, displaying the data of Skeeb's PAK. In dark Irken letters were the words "Elite Soldier."

Despite the fact that the device wasn't completely in sync with his brainwaves, like that of an Irken, Dib could still somewhat feel the exchange of data to and from the Control Brain. He didn't expect this, and felt adrenaline slowly creep into his system. _Did Irkens even create adrenaline? Would the Control Brain be able to feel the substance enter his system?_ The thoughts seemed to intensify his emotional state. _I just have to calm down... calm thoughts... FUCK!? What is it doing to my PAK?! Does it normally take this long for a simple reassigning? Is it looking through my files? Noticing anything out of the ordinary? Does it notice the hologram program as being atypical? What if it shuts it off? Dad never did say exactly how the PAK was connected with my nervous system... what if the Control Brain is somehow capable of getting into my thoughts? What if, right now, I'm inevitably damning myself? What if..._

The wires left the PAK, and the screen showed the title of "Brigadier General."

"Elite Soldier Skeeb has now been reassigned as Brigadier General," the brain boomed. Dib gave a small sigh of relief as he began to walk off the dais. "Incidentally..." Dib stopped to look at the multi-eyed mix of biology and machinery. "You seem to have a large amount of dihydrogen-monoxide in your system. Although there seem to be no harmful effects, be sure to watch the chemical levels in the future." The brain then shut itself down until it was needed again.

_Water... I have too much water in my system... of all the things for it to notice... too much water..._ A small smile graced Dib's lips as he left, feeling invincible.

* * *

Dib had until tomorrow before he had to report to duty, so he headed towards his private quarters. His private room was somewhat large. A hefty screen was stationed in the corner, as well as many wires and a keyboard; obviously some sort of Irken computer. In the center of the room was a large bed, and a wardrobe-like device sat next to the walls (full of matching brigadier general uniforms, which were similar to the elite ones, only with more armor. Why did Irkens casually wear so much armor?) Various containment devices also lined the walls. On the wall, right next to the door, Dib noticed a small ID port. After a little messing with it, he realized that it could be used to change the color scheme of the room. Although rather pointless, it amused Dib greatly. Currently much of the room was either dark blue or a golden yellow.

Dib lay on the Irken equivalent of a bed, reading the new data of his PAK. As Skeeb had been more skilled in things of the tactical nature rather than combat, Dib had been assigned to be within the Massive and from there give commands to the colonels underneath him. Dib more-or-less expected that much.

Upon reading further, Dib found that when not giving commands, he was to act as an aide and apprentice to the Elite General. Tak, the head of the Irken military, was known throughout the universe for her military accomplishments against the Earthen forces. Not only would working for her help him learn much inside information that could help his planet, he could also learn military tactics that could greatly help him keep his guise for his mission.

Getting bored, Dib sat up and walked over to the computer screen in the corner. He sat down in the chair before it.

"Computer!" Dib barked in an authoritative tone. "Is this room monitored in any way? Any... cameras or voice recording devices?"

"Negative," replied the computer.

"... Are you sure?"

"I'm a computer – of course I'm sure," it responded.

"Can I make a transmission that won't be overheard or traced?" Dib asked.

If the computer had shoulders, they would have shrugged. "I gueeeeesssssss..."

Dib slightly frowned. The answer didn't really sound all that confident. It was just his luck that his assigned computer would have some sort of annoying A.I. personality. "Fine, then. Open up communications on planet Vasq. Coordinates; 77.7 degrees south, 149.42 degrees east. Make sure to block anyone attempting to hack into the transmission."

"Ma'am, that's the Irthenoid military stronghold in the Andromeda galaxy. If you really want a death warrant, just go insult Tallest Purple."

"Yes, I know what that planet is... LISTEN! _You_ are the computer, _I_ am your master. Just do what I say; open the transmission... and speak nothing of any of this to anyone else."

The computer made a sound similar to an exasperated sigh, but opened the link to the planet anyway.

Dib dropped the Skeeb hologram and ran his hands through his hair, fluffing it up a little after having it trapped underneath the solid illusion. The scythe-like cowlick that seemed to run in his family, with its hair much tenderer and coarser than the rest, bounced back to its familiar setting above his head.

After his hair had been thoroughly ruffled back to normal, Dib removed the twin pieces of tape from his both his hands, creating the illusion underneath the hologram that his hands had only two fingers and a thumb. Dib stretched his hand open, glad to finally allow some free, independent movement to his poor fingers.

The screen buzzed to life with a fairly grainy image of a human male in a military uniform – the difference between the Irken and human computer systems causing the pixilation. Dib gave him a small salute.

"Agent Dib Membrane, reporting from on board the Massive."

The man responded with a simple salute of his own. "Good to see you alive and well, Agent Membrane; we've been expecting your transmission. Let me forward it to your father." Dib nodded as the man pushed a few buttons. The screen momentarily went blank before the image was replaced by the figure of his father.

"Ah! Son! I take it you've successfully infiltrated the Massive?" the older man inquired.

Dib gave a curt nod. "So far, there hasn't been much trouble. I've already met with both of the Tallest. They seemed kind of incompetent. Hopefully I won't have much trouble taking them down."

"Excellent!"

"How is the Dib-bot working? Does anyone suspect anything?"

Professor Membrane nodded back to Dib. "You never really went out before the public much before. The few times that the Dib-bot has been presented to the world impersonating you, no one has noticed anything. What about 'Skeeb's' assignments? Have they reencoded your PAK yet?"

"I have the information right here, Dad – I mean, Professor Membrane. Permission to upload?" His father gave his approval. Dib's PAK opened up, allowing a long wire to emerge from the pod-like piece of machinery on his back. Dib navigated it into a port, and began the upload. Professor Membrane stared at the screen, deep in thought as his computer screen showed the progress of the upload.

"Dad, what do you know about the Resisty? I'm only vaguely familiar with them – enough to know that if I asked anyone here I'd probably be taken for questioning."

The prestigious scientist pulled his attention from the upload screen back to the one with his son's transmission. "Why? Have you come into contact with them?"

"I'm not sure. There's an Irken who might be part of the faction, but he also could easily be horribly, _horribly_ insane.

"Hmm... You have to be mistaken. The invention of the PAK made any sort of mental illness obsolete, not to mention squelch any thoughts of disloyalty. I wouldn't look too much into this Irken if I were you, otherwise you'd put the entire mission in jeopardy."

"But PAKs can be glitched – look, the defective Irken aside; I need information on Resisty-Earthen relations." _Why is talking to Dad always this difficult? _Dib silently asked himself. "Even if I'm mistaken, I might need the information just as a precaution."

Professor Membrane gave a sigh, figuring it wouldn't hurt to give his son the data he so desired. He tapped upon a keyboard, pulling the records onto a third, unused screen. He tapped a button and a few seconds later it appeared on Dib's, obviously a much easier transfer than sending data from Dib's PAK to Membrane's system.

"This should be more than enough to suffice, but I'll just give you a summary of it." The lab coat-clothed man said, the light from the various computer screens reflected in his goggles. "The Resisty's goal is tear apart the Irken Empire, freeing all the territories and races under its control. It was formed during Irken Operation Impending Doom II after the capture of Planet Vort by the Vortian Lard-Nar, who is still the leader of the resistance force. Under him, the Resisty played a crucial role in the Irken-Meekrob War, gaining notoriety through its exploits, bringing in new recruits.

"Currently it is the largest and most successful resistance to the Irken Armada..." the man skimmed down the official report until he found something else of interest.

"As of now, the Resisty and our forces are on peaceful, yet fragile, terms with one-another only because both are working towards the toppling of the Irken Empire, although with different end results. The Resisty has made it quite clear that they disagree with Earth's imperialism, and Lard-Nar has stated that if we end up capturing Irk and gain control, that they would be forced to turn their focus to destroying the Earthen Regime..."

Professor Membrane's computer beeped, signaling the end of his upload. Dib's PAK removed the wire from the computer and pulled it back inside itself.

"You have more than enough information on them now – that file should answer any questions on the group. But, Agent Membrane, stay away from that Irken. Even if, somehow, I'm wrong – although that couldn't _possibly_ even be conceivable – and he _was_ actually a part of the Resisty, he could still endanger your mission by accidentally spilling crucial information.

"I'll be waiting for your next transmission when you learn more, Agent Membrane." The leader and top scientific mind of the prestigious Membrane Corporation, as well as arguably the unofficial leader of Earth, motioned to turn off the screen.

"Wait – Dad... erm... Professor Membrane..." Dib quickly cut in. His father stopped and looked at him, annoyed. "Could you link up a transmission from me to Gaz?" Professor Membrane gave Dib a questioning look. "Your Daughter? My sister?" Dib elaborated, knowing all too well how often his father forgot the names of his two children.

"Oh yes, Daughter. Certainly – she's in the other room. I'll get her." The man stepped off-screen momentarily, but, judging from the muffled sounds, Dib could tell that his father was merely calling Gaz over the intercom; because, _obviously_, it wouldn't be worth the great professor's time actually _walk_ into the next room. A few seconds later, an exasperated groan signaled that Gaz had entered. Her dark form soon slid in front of a camera, allowing Dib to see his sister on his screen.

"Hey, Gaz-"

"What do you want, _Dib_?" she interrupted, spitting out his name as if it were something vile.

"Well... uh... I just haven't spoken with you since I left a few months ago... I just... you know... I kinda miss you..." Dib watched his little sister, mildly embarrassed, as any sibling would be whenever they admit they care about the other. He tried to judge his sister's expression.

A long pause. "You're actually serious..." Not a question, it was more like a disgusted statement. "... Well, I can easily say that without you and your insane babblings, things have gotten much... quieter. Without your annoying voice cutting in all the time, I can actually hear myself thinking."

"You don't really mean that, Gaz." Another silence. Dib coughed uncomfortably. Gaz stared menacingly. "... Okay, then... so... how's the stay on Vasq? It's spring there, right now, right?"

"Since you've evidentially forgotten, _Dib_, Vasq is a military training planet for a reason. The weather is _always_ either very hot or very cold. It helps teach endurance in difficult conditions. This isn't exactly what I would consider a vacation."

"So... I take it that the weather's not so great, then?" Gaz just glared and cut the transmission, leaving Dib with a blank screen. "... love you too, sis..." he muttered.

Dib leaned back in his chair, letting his head fall over the headrest and letting his gaze wander over the high ceiling while his mind wandered to thoughts of his rather abnormal family.

He might have been related to them, but, besides shared genetics, they were nothing alike. His father - owner of and head scientist of the Membrane Corporation, the one company that owned almost every industry on Earth – could easily been considered more powerful than the entire Council of President-Men. Despite the fact that Professor Membrane was Dib's only surviving parent, his mother having died while birthing Gaz, Dib barely ever saw the man during his childhood, save for when he and his sister would receive check-ups every-other-month; Dib always assumed his father performed those just to make sure that his children hadn't died. Hell – he couldn't even remember a time when he saw Professor Membrane without the reflective lab goggles on; he didn't even know what his own father's eyes looked like.

And then there was Gaz, the embodiment of darkness herself. Although she and Dib weren't exactly the best of siblings, they were pretty much the only ones each other had. Dib knew that deep, deeeeeeeeeeep, deepdeepdeepdeepdeepdeepdeepdeepdeepdeep down, in some rather demented way, Gaz cared for her older brother.

Really, the only one that Dib felt any sort of kinship with was his great-great-great grandfather, Sid Membrane. Dead, of course, but Dib had grown up hearing stories of his great ancestor. He was, after all, the one to find and capture Invader Tenn when she tried to invade Earth, and then the one to find a way to incorporate her Irken technology into that of the humans, giving Earth the capabilities to enter the universal marketplace and, eventually, the means for the planet to start its intergalactic conquest.

Dib always thought of Sid as a little like himself; eccentric and passionate about para-science, despite the fact that no one believed him about the existence of extra-terrestrials... that is, until he brought them a live one, completely changing life on the small planet. Dib hoped that he would, somehow, be able to live up to the legacy of his ancestor – hopefully this mission would be the start of one of his own.

Dib ran his fingers through his hair again, mind wandering back to the mission. So far, things seemed to be going smoothly, but that didn't help the lingering fear. After all, he really hadn't been there long. His luck could easily change. And then there was the problem of secretly destroying the Irken government from the inside-out. Dib had several ideas, but each had their flaws and –

A small buzz echoed throughout Dib's quarters, letting its occupant know that someone was at the entrance. _Shit!_ Dib had completely forgotten that Irken officers received their own table-headed drone to attend to their needs and had a janitor add their room to their daily rounds, acting as a private maid. One of his probably wanted to introduce himself. Dib allowed the switch that in his PAK that triggered the hologram to engage. _Fuck, FUCK, __**FUCK!**_ The program wasn't meant to be an immediate thing – it generally took five seconds to start up.

The buzzing again – whoever was at the metal door evidentially had access to enter, and was, in fact, doing so. Adrenaline began to pour into Dib's veins as his mind blanked.

Three seconds. The human looked for somewhere to hide, but found nowhere.

Two seconds – the door began to slide open.

One second.

_This could easily be the most retarded way to be exposed._

The door opened. A small figure entered the doorway. The hologram immediately snapped into life, covering Dib's human form and leaving what appeared to be a very panicked Skeeb.

"Ma'am... are you alright?"

The diminutive Irken stood in the entrance, a puzzled expression on his features. Dib simply hoped that the green creature had seen nothing. He glanced at the Irken's face and familiarity dawned on him. Of all the janitorial drones to act as his maid, he received _Zim_. Dib wasn't sure if he should be overjoyed or annoyed.

"'ELLLLLLLLLLLLLO, PINK-THANG!" Two cyan orbs pressed themselves against Dib's face, making him fall out of the chair in surprise. "CAN I PLAY WITH 'DEM FLAPPY THANGS ON YER HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD?!"

Dib grunted as he pushed the small, crazed SIR unit off of himself. "I still have no idea what you're talking about..." He pulled himself up and brushed off his clothing in a, hopefully, professional manner, then turned to face Zim. "I... er... I wasn't really expecting anyone to appear..."

Zim snapped into action and dragged his defective SIR unit away from his Taller before GIR could do any further damage. "My apologies, General Skeeb. If this is a bad time –"

"No, you just startled me, that's all."

"Yes, yes, my amazingness is rather startling. Anyway, I was just appointed by the Control Brains to add your quarters to my daily rounds. I shall be cleaning your messes. They will be SO CLEAN! SO CLEAN says ZIIIIIIM**!! **Dirt will have no choice but to COWER before the AWESOME MIGHT of my... **MOP OF PAIN!!**" Zim shouted, thrusting his mop above his head in a victorious manner.

"I LIKE PAIN!" shrieked GIR as he randomly started bouncing around his master.

_Annoyed_, Dib decided. _Definitely annoyed_...

"Umm... that's all _very_ nice... I guess..."

"Indeed. I had to... persuade... the Control Brain for hours until it gave me this assignment."

"AH LICKED-ED HIS SCREEN!" GIR chimed in, continuing his frenzied bouncing.

"That you did, GIR; that you did." said Zim, nodding, obviously pleased with himself.

"Wait... you bothered a Control Brain for hours just to _clean my room_?"

"Mmmmm... yep."

"WHY?!"

"Yep."

"... That's not really an answer to my question."

"Yep."

Dib grumbled something unintelligible before asking "... So... are you two done here?"

"Pretty much," Zim replied with a shrug, but made no effort to imply that he was leaving.

"Umm... you can go now..." Dib said in an irritated tone.

"But... but... You don't want to bask in pure awesome that is Zim?" He genuinely didn't seem to understand why his Taller didn't want to spend time with HIM, the personification of everything perfect and wonderful.

"Of _course_ I do... but not now... I have important general stuff to do. Besides, it sounds as if I'll have more chances, right?" _Unfortunately..._ Dib mentally whined.

"Oh, certainly, Ma'am! Come now, GIR!"

"Awwwwwwww... but I wanna stay wif mah' pink friend..." the robot said despondently, his single antenna drooping.

"NOW, GIR!"

GIR immediately perked up. "'K! Bye, Flappy! Maybeh we can play Platypus Warriors sum' otha' time! Ill be GREAT! Ah'll be Warrior Numba' Seven, and you be Numba' PINK! We'll save 'da SUN... and we'll eat ICE CREAM... and –"

"_GIR!_"

"COMIN' MASTAH!" He screeched loud enough Dib thought he felt his eardrums puncture. The defective robot chased after Zim, the sliding metal door finally closing. Through the thick metal, Dib could barely hear GIR's muffled voice, but after a few minutes it dimmed to nothing.

Dib fell over on his bed, glad that Zim or his obnoxious sidekick were gone, and didn't seem have seen him without his disguise. After all, those two didn't seem to have the intelligence to keep something like that from leaking during that short, yet mildly disturbing, conversation.

He then slapped himself for missing a perfect opportunity to inquire about the Resisty.

**After a brief delay, MBMB is BACK!! –insert loud cheering/projectile vomiting- **

**Sorry, all, I got myself caught up in some ZADR art, as well as a one-shot that I'm still working on (Curse you for challenging me to do it, Kriss and Swing!)... Not to mention, I'm just a lazy Taylor who gets easily distracted.**

**So, (against my better judgment,) in my guilt for the delay in the fan fiction, as well as keeping you from waiting even longer, this chapter hasn't been beta'd (But I still love you, Alex!) ... So if you find any mistakes, things don't make sense, or part of your brain melts and starts dripping through your ear, I take full responsibility.**

**I've had a few people asking about the title. I know. It sucks. And it will stay sucking. There actually is a reason as to why it's called that. I have all sorts of crazy plot twists planned. **_**AND YES, IT WILL TURN INTO A ZADR. I JUST PLAN TO TAKE MY TIME AND NOT JUMP INTO IT**_**! –spooky voice- **_**All will be revealed in time...**_

**Much thanks to those who reviewed – ****IndigoClockwork****, ****Rambie****, ffnetlover****, ****Swing-21****, ****Desdemona Kakalose****, ****DTGC****, ****Flash Roses****, ****fanfictionfan123****, ****Kurotorachan****, ****microwaved noodles****, ****DarkAngelKisses****, ****kikomio****, ****LoneHowler**

**Reviews make me feel loved. Love me, please? XD **


	4. Chapter 4

**_My Beloved, My Betrayed_**

**Chapter 4**

**Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez, of whom I would love to sing karaoke with for no apparent reason what-so-ever.**

**Beta: None - My normal beta was out of town, so I just decided to go through the fic a few more times than I usually do.**

It had been twenty-two earth days, Dib figured, although, it was rather difficult to calculate the exact amount of time. Nothing seemed to change much in the inky vastness of outer space.

Inside the ship, though... that was another matter. Throughout the past three weeks Dib found himself insanely busy. Everything seemed to have happened so fast.

Dib had met with the colonels in charge of his brigade; the brigade itself consisting of about 4,300 ships. They all seemed all-too-thrilled to have such a tall commander.

The armada wasn't a concrete group. Brigades often came and went to take care of various other military engagements; after all, the armada was just the core of the Irken military. Fifteen days ago, Dib's brigade had been called upon to stop a Screw Head revolution on the Conveyer Belt Planet.

To tell the truth, the revolt itself wasn't really much of a big deal – more of an annoyance. The Screw Heads, being horrible rebels, just kept shipping mail and packages to the wrong addresses. Nevertheless, it _was_ an uprising, so military forces had to be called – besides, the mail mix-ups were getting rather irritating.

Dib stayed on the Massive, controlling the operation from afar. General Skeeb was simply too much of an asset to risk in such a routine mission.

The coup only took a few days to resolve. There were no Irken casualties – although, the same couldn't be said of the Screw Heads. The Irkens hadn't even bothered to take count; the entire race had been deemed insignificant, property, the lowest of the low.

The brigade had to stay on the Conveyer Belt Planet for a few extra days afterwards to ensure that the small revolt was utterly crushed – as were the spirits of the entire race. Of course, by Irken protocol, this meant only more violence and bloodshed despite the end of the riots.

It was difficult for Dib. Not the assignment; it was a fairly basic mission. Psychologically and emotionally – it took its toll on the human. He knew that if he was to successfully infiltrate the Irken Government he'd have to cause death in its name, but, as his first assignment, it only brought a whole new level of realism for Dib. He had even been told, back during his training, in order to keep his cover, he would almost certainly have to unflinchingly kill humans, his own people. As he headed the slaughter of the Screw Heads, this truth only became more and more vivid to him.

When not at the controls of the demise of half the Screw Head population, Dib attended various meetings involving top generals discussing strategies in the war with the humans. Although Skeeb wasn't necessarily of their rank and caliber, being a brigadier general – the lowest of the general ranks – her height and impressive record, as well as the expectation of her rise through the system, possibly to the position of Tallest, allowed the disguised human to participate under her guise. Dib tried to merely act as an observer during these conferences, still trying to get a feel for the flow of Irken military life.

The meetings were held by Elite General Tak – easily the second most powerful Irken after to the Tallest; the Irken that Skeeb was to act as a assistant to when not performing her other military duties. He hadn't received the orders determining when, where, and with what he was to assist her with, but he was looking forward to the summons. It was a well know fact that Tak had achieved her high status through pure skill, not height. Elevation-wise, she was only a few inches taller than Skoodge, but her background of success in the Irken-Meekrob War, as well as the lengthy list of all the planets she successfully invaded afterwards, lead to a speedy rise through the ranks.

The current plan gave a nod to the Impending Doom Operations – invading the less guarded planets on the outskirts of the Earthen Empire and slowly closing in until earth itself was finally defenseless. On each targeted planet, the several Irkens acting in a highly trained team were sent to infiltrate instead of simply one, hopefully to pick up the speed of the conquest. Time was of the essence, hoping to completely confound and cripple the human forces as several of their planets suddenly started to fall to Irken forces. Every-so-often Tak would ask Dib for comments or concerns. He assumed that she was simply trying to get a feel for him as a strategist; after all, he'd have to work for her and later learn from her. Of course, Dib reported all the information to his father during his transmissions to Vasq.

Because the control brain had deemed Dib having too much water in his system, he was forced to take a tablet that would lower the dihydrogen monoxide levels in his body. Of course, being human, a lack of water might prove more than a little troublesome. Dib had taken to stealing small amounts of water from various labs scattered throughout the Massive. The few occasions that he had been caught, Skeeb's rank had kept the Irken scientists from reporting him, thus keeping him out of trouble.

Consequently, there was the problem of hiding the water from his personal table-headed service drone, Bob. Fortunately, Bob wasn't too bright. Appearance-wise, he was short and covered in large burn marks... something about loosing a bet with the Tallest and getting thrown into a sun... Bob acted pretty much as a servant, getting Dib food, something to drink, or any supplies. He never questioned Dib, only performing his duties. Still, if Bob found a deadly material in General Skeeb's room, he had no idea what the small Irken would do.

And then there was Zim. Zim kept insisting on spending time with Dib, despite his efforts to drive the small Irken away. Dib had sworn on many occasions, if he heard GIR's shrieks of "FLAPPEH!" and his insane babble about "Platypus Warrior Number Pink" one more time... how did the obnoxious piece of machinery even know what a platypus was, anyway? And then Zim's proclamations of how great he was; Dib didn't understand how such a failure of an Irken could possibly believe the self-praise he constantly spewed at every chance possible.

Between the Conveyer Belt Planet, the meetings, the transmissions, and the Zim insanity, Dib barely had time to sleep – something considered only a luxury in Irken society, not a necessity. He never really needed all that much sleep back on Earth and his PAK allowed him to forgo even more, so despite feeling like a zombie all the time, it was somewhat tolerable. Dib just hoped that things would calm down a bit so that he could fully take care of his basic needs –

"GEN'RAL SKEEEEEEEEB!! THE ZIM HAS ARRIVED!!... Hey – were you just talking to yourself?"

Dib was currently sitting in the spinning chair in front of the computer's massive screen. He spun it around to face Zim, glad that he had left his disguise on. "Uh... no... Why? Did you hear anything possibly incriminating?"

"No... just something about sleeping and Table-Headed Service Drone Bob. Not sure what they have to do with each other... You know, you should be glad that it was just me who heard; if that's a habit of yours, you might accidentally spill crucial information."

"Thanks for your concern, Zim..." Dib said sarcastically, trying to dismiss the janitor. Of course, something like that wasn't going to discourage him.

"No problem, my Taller. I'm sure you're probably wondering why GIR is not with me today."

"Tell me why, Zim..." _My god, is he ever going to leave?_

"You see, GIR is making brownies... Yup... you know, there's probably gonna bacon in them, like last time. I'm gonna have to destroy them when he forgets about them five minutes later."

Dib, aggravated, raised an antenna, the Irken equivalent to raising an eyebrow. "And _why_ exactly did I need to know this?"

Zim shrugged. "I dunno."

The human rolled his eyes. "... So... are you here for any particular reason?"

"Well, your garbage needs to be emptied." Zim stated, flashing a large, toothy smile. "Sooooo... got anything interesting to do around here?" Obviously looking for a reason to hang around.

"How about you just get the trash and go?"

Zim patted Dib's head – something that could only happen because of Dib's current seated position. Also something considered very disrespectful. "Thank you for your concern, ma'am, but do not worry about wasting Zim's time. You see, I don't mind gracing you with my presence."

Dib looked away, trying to mask his growing rage. "Lucky me..." He turned back towards Zim, only to find him gone... and currently engaged in rooting through Skeeb's wardrobe. Zim tossed the military-issued clothing and armor around the room without rhyme or reason. "ZIM?! What the _hell_ are you doing?!" Dib screeched, hastily trying to catch the thrown garments as they were thrown.

"Nothin' much... just looking at what you've got in here."

"Well, I don't 'got' anything besides my clothing, so you can stop making a mess of everything. Your job is to clean, not throw my stuff everywhere!"

Zim paused his antics and looked around the room, completely ignoring what Dib had just said. "Now that you mention it, it _is_ a little messy in here. Looks like Zim'll have to stay a little longer than initially intended in order to fix all this."

Dib groaned, feeling that that was Zim's plan the entire time. "Look, I can't stay. I have important... thingies... to do... you know, fate of the Empire and all that. Just don't mess with anything – that's a direct order."

"Yes, my Taller!" Zim declared with a salute, although the disappointment was evident.

Dib exited, the relief evident on his face. He hastily went down one of the more vacant corridors to avoid any chance that Zim might be following him, not caring that the Irken PAKs forbade smaller Irkens from disobeying their Tallers.

"Well, looks like I won't be going back anytime soon – might as well take a walk." Dib muttered to himself knowing that there was no one to hear him, heading down the empty corridor. As he passed the rooms he looked inside, mostly out of sheer curiosity. Various Irkens scurried about inside, not caring what was going outside of their sound-proof labs, training areas, computer rooms, technology-encased enclosures. Each only had time for and focus for what they were assigned to do by the control brains – nothing more, nothing less. Dib had to ponder if they even had any idea how sad their existence was – based only on what had been predetermined at their hatching and with nothing else to live for. Dib mentally added that to his internal list of reasons why human society was better than Irken.

"GENERAL!" A small Irken, dressed in a communication officer's uniform and panicked, ran down the hall towards Dib. "Ma'am! Down the corridor... I saw... I-it's just... I contacted law enforcement, b-but... S-s-s-so much blood... PAK was destroyed... I couldn't... Just needed someone else... I-I can't handle this on my own... I mean... M-must have someone in authority there..." he babbled, obviously out of breath and very shaken.

"Calm down! Deep breaths – now, tell me exactly what happened!" Dib commanded, bending down to steady the smaller green extraterrestrial. Irkens didn't panic. It just wasn't something that happened under normal situations. Adrenaline slowly crept into Dib's veins.

He gulped, swallowing his fear, and tried again. "General... My Taller... I-I... Down the hall, to the right... There an... I saw a..." the Irken gulped again with a shutter before continuing. "...Mutilated... Everywhere, pieces of flesh and shattered PAK... I just..."

Understanding that the Irken was too upset to fully explain whatever it was he found, Dib asked. "What's your name and rank?"

"C-communications Officer Nort..."

"Well, Nort, show me where it is," Dib instructed, trying to hide the distress that the Irken's alarm was causing him. Nort nodded and apprehensively lead his Taller to the site.

As soon as he reached it, Nort closed his round, red eyes and shuttered.

"Holy fuck..." was all Dib could mutter.

The thick, green-blue, coppery blood; everywhere. The floor, the walls, even some seemed to drip from the tall ceiling – almost trickling from the pipes high in the rafters that wrapped around each other in a tangled web as they trailed along the length of the hall.

But the rich, azúl liquid wasn't what held Dib's eye. The green, blood-coated figure in the center of the mess was; at least, what was left of the figure. Large chunks of flesh were scattered around it. A finger here, a piece of skull there, an unidentifiable piece of tissue a meter over. Interspersed with the carnage were small pieces of metal, their dull exterior coated in the Irken blood as well. Dib didn't need to look hard to realize that they were the remains of a PAK; many of the pieces deeply imbedded into the flesh. Whatever had killed this Irken had been quite thorough. Disgustingly so.

Dib fought back the urge to vomit. Regaining his composure, he turned to the smaller Irken. "Do you have any idea what happened here? Any clue at all?"

Nort fervently shook his head. Dib looked to the cerulean-colored slaughter again, falling deep into thought. _Oh god... This better not be linked to me; if any sort of investigation of 'Skeeb' was made... Nort's already informed law enforcement, I can't run – that would be suspicious... but if I stay that would also be suspicious..._ Dib glanced towards Nort again. Despite the maroon-eyed communication officer's panic, he showed no sign of leaving the area. Dib bit his lip. It looked like the natural thing to do was to wait until the proper authorities appeared.

Dib didn't have to wait long. It only took fourteen minutes before the Irken police and detectives appeared in droves. One of the taller Irkens, obviously the one in charge, made a transmission to someone through a communication device in his PAK before approaching Dib and Nort.

"Communication Officer Nort, I've been instructed to have you held for questioning, and possibly for the control brain to retrieve the proper information through your PAK." Immediately, two Irken guards grabbed Nort by the shoulders, literally dragging him off to, most likely, the prisons.

"As for you, Brigadier General Skeeb, you are to come with me." Without a word more, he turned around and headed down the corridor, expecting Dib to follow. When he didn't immediately move, an Irken guard gave him a hard nudge in that direction.

After a few moments of silence during their trek, hoping for the best, Dib decided to speak up. "Sooo... where are you taking me?"

"The Elite General would like to speak with you about the matter _personally_..." the head detective-y person informed Dib with a sneer in his voice. A sneer for what, though, the disguised human couldn't quite place.

* * *

Irken waiting rooms. Dib found that they weren't all that different from human waiting rooms. There was even an old, sour secretary in the corner. The pointlessly long time spent sitting around doing nothing but reading old magazines – also there. Dib had come to believe that was one of the requisites for something to be a waiting room. The only difference was the armed guard watching over Dib. You normally don't see those in human waiting rooms. Normally.

After what had to be two hours in the small waiting room of the lucky few who got a private audience with the Elite General, the bitter secretary motioned for Dib to enter through a door at the far end of the room. "You kin go in thar', Gen'ral Skeeb." _Where the hell did this secretary get that obnoxious accent...?_ Dib nodded, and did as told.

Inside was a rather large room with an equally large desk at a slight upward angle – or at least what looked like a desk. Closer inspection showed that it was actually a highly advanced, state-of-the-art computer. Dib assumed that the lack of screen was because it was probably holographic based. Scattered throughout the rest of the room were large, fluffy looking chairs and sofas. In the corner was a table full of various snack foods and sodas – the epitome of Irken luxury.

And a modified SIR unit. Dib immediately paused and tensed up as he saw it, thoughts of the only other SIR he'd ever encountered started running rampant through his mind. Small, hyper-active, obnoxious, and able to see though the Skeeb disguise.

"Welcome, Brigadier General Skeeb. Don't just stand there; come in, sit down." Dib was too busy watching the SIR for any signs of suspicious activity to even notice Elite General Tak. He slowly walked towards a chair in front of the computer and sat down, not taking his eyes off of the small robot.

Tak noticed Dib's anxiety towards her mechanical servant. A flash of understanding came to her, followed by a look Dib couldn't quite place; it mostly resembled annoyance towards whatever was on her thoughts. "You must have met GIR." Dib gave a small nod, eyes still not leaving the SIR. "I can assure you, MIMI, here, is nothing like that defective SIR. I would know; I made her myself during my days as an invader."

Dib glanced warily at Tak, and back at MIMI. "I just don't like SIRs... Are you sure she won't flip out or shout anything incoherent?"

"She may be somewhat dated, but she's an excellent servant. And no, she doesn't speak, so you don't have to worry about shouting. She's able to communicate with me through a transmission to my telekinetic amplifier." Tak tapped the small metallic device daintily protruding out of her forehead. "Even if MIMI was shouting, you wouldn't be able to hear her."

Dib pretended to let it go, but first gave a glare at the modified SIR. If she was able to see through Dib's cover, neither she nor Tak showed any indication of it. "So... Elite General Tak... ma'am... you wished to speak with me?"

"Yes. Now, Skeeb, first of all, I apologize for not calling you here earlier, seeing how the Tallest assigned you as my aide. You see, there have been several... incidents... You happened to have stumbled upon the aftermath of one of them. I managed to pull a few strings so that the law enforcement wouldn't cart you away for questioning, allowing me to have a chance to speak with you on this matter _personally_."

The disguised human shuttered. Despite Tak's veil of kindness, Dib definitely felt undertones of cruelty. He was _not_ going to get on her bad side. "If you don't mind me asking, ma'am, why did you want to have a word with me?"

"The Tallest have decided that the public should not know about these slaughters. It's was going on before you arrived, and there seems to be no sign that the murders are slowing down. Already we've lost fifty-four Irkens – all of them military officers. The body that you found belonged to Colonel Loor. If this information leaked out, there would be much panic aboard the Massive. We don't want the masses to know that there may be something that's not Irken hiding aboard the ship, killing our high-ranking military officials."

"W-wait... Something that's not Irken?" Dib stammered, his nervousness beginning to become slightly evident.

"Of _course_. It's part of the basic programming of the PAK; Irkens cannot kill one another. Therefore, there has to be something else on the Massive with some sort of vendetta against us." Tak said pointedly, as it mentioning something painfully obvious.

"Is there any particular reason why you're telling me this?" asked Dib, trying to hide his uneasiness once more.

"Yes. Seeing how you're to be my aide, you'll have to know about this information as well. We're hard at work trying to find whatever it is that keeps murdering. In the past two weeks there secretly have been a biological and a PAK scan of all aboard this vessel. Everything has checked out to be Irken and to have an Irken-issued PAK. We're at a loss."

"So nothing was abnormal was found in anyone?"

Tak glared at Dib, but quickly the sharp gesture turned back into her normal expression, which appeared to be a calm scowl. "Are you going to question everything I say?"

"Sorry, my Elite General... I'm just a little shaken from this news. I never expected anything like this..." Dib said in a half-bluff.

"Don't say sorry; it makes you sound weak. But no, nothing was found. You check out, I check out, my secretary checks out, your table-headed service drone checks out. Nothing without Irken DNA or a PAK was found." Not having much else to say on the subject, Tak changed the topic. "So, seeing as I have to fill out much paperwork for our 'interview,' you might as well tell me why you were there and what exactly happened. That isn't exactly a heavily traveled area."

Dib took a deep breath, about to explain what happened. "You see, my Elite General, I have an insane janitor, and-"

"... Lemme guess... Zim, right?" Tak said, seething. Tak's interjection caught Dib off guard. The reflection of pure hatred in her eyes made Dib shirk slightly.

"Yeah... how did you know?"

"I've had my own experiences with Zim... Before the Irken-Meekrob War spiraled out of control, the Tallest appointed me to take out Zim before he caused too much damage to inter-planetary relations. That moron found out about my assignment, but believed that I was trying to kill him so that _I_ could take his mission. It turned into a game of me trying to kill him as he tried to kill me; all while he was executing his attempts to take over Meekrob." Tak looked bitter. "Obviously, I failed to kill him, and he never conquered the planet. That was the only mission I've ever failed to complete. It was only through the graciousness of the Tallest that I was allowed to fight in war that followed, where I proved my worth, thus promoting me to this rank – and that's only the most recent encounter I've had with him."

There was a long silence. Both just sat, almost daring the other to say something to break the void of noise. Suddenly, in a burst of withheld rage that she had started accumulating with the first mention of Zim, Tak forcefully brought her fist down on the computer/desk before her. "DAMN THAT ZIM! When he caused a power-outage on half of Devastis, I was about to take the Invader test. Because I couldn't complete my test, I was forced to work on planet DIRT for fifty years before I could have a chance to take it again... Easily the WORST years of my life..." She faced Dib again, her eruption of anger beginning to die down as she adopted a calm exterior once more. "Skeeb, your first assignment from me is this – make Zim's life a living _hell_. I feel that you'll have no objections to this."

"None, whatsoever, ma'am." Dib said with a sharp salute and a small smile.

"Good. So, you were simply leaving your room until Zim left. What happened next?"

Dib fumbled to pick up his story where he left off. "Well, um... then Communications Officer Nort ran up to me, panic-stricken and babbling. I followed him and found the corpse. He told me that he had already contacted the authorities, so I simply waited until they arrived."

"And that's all? Nothing more that might be useful? Anything?"

"No, sorry."

Tak fell deep into thought before speaking again. "If you remember anything else, be sure to tell me. I don't want to have to send you to the control brain to extract the information. Seeing how I managed to get a private audience with you, the hassle of the using the control brain would become my problem, and I would prefer not to do that. Anyway, you are dismissed, Brigadier General Skeeb."

"Yes, my Elite General!" Dib said with a salute.

"Please, just call me Tak. After all, we're going to be seeing a lot of each other."

"Yes, my... I mean Tak." Tak nodded and waved her hand, signaling that Dib could leave.

As Dib exited through the door, back to the small waiting room, he noticed the sour secretary filing her three-fingered claws, paying no attention to the tall Irken entering the room. "Some things are universal," he muttered under his breath. She gave Dib a scowl and continued filing her nails.

The electronic door slid open, allowing Dib to leave the small waiting room, his nerves still somewhat rattled from Tak's comment about there being "something not Irken" aboard the Massive. She didn't seem to be insinuating that she knew anything about his true identity, but if she and MIMI were telekinetically connected like she said, and if MIMI might be able to see through his disguise... Dib shook his head. He had to stop thoughts like that from constantly swimming through his head; he might accidentally say them out loud. The whole time he was studying both her and the robot for any sort of abnormal body language, finding none... Of course, Tak could simply be a very good actress, hiding her real emotions even in the midst of a great discovery, such as Skeeb's true identity.

No! He had to quit dwelling on what _might_ happen and focus on more what he _will cause_ to happen. He had already made his connection with the Elite General; second in command save only the Tallest. Although the meeting had been a little bumpy, hopefully, judging by Tak's reaction, she approved of her new protégé. After all, she had insisted that he call her by her real name and not just by her title – something almost unheard of in the hierarchy of Irken government.

Dib headed back towards his private quarters, lost in his own thoughts. Completely unaware of the pair of eyes following him, precariously perched among the mass of wires and tubes in the high ceiling. With a whir of graceful machinery, the figure disappeared, looking for its next target.

**Ta da! Chapter 4! Love me!... Damn, I'm a needy bitch... **

**COULD IT BE!? THE START OF SOMETHING THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY RESEMBLE THE BEGINNING OF A PLOT OF SOME SORT? ... If that's what you're thinking, the answer is a resounding MAYBE! And by maybe, I mean that lots of stuff of importance will probably be in the NEXT chapter, of which you'll have to wait forever for. And by forever, I mean I won't be occupied with a type of art school for two weeks, melodic percussion practice until nine for a week, a trip to visit grandparents in another state for a week. And by occupied I mean drained physical and mentally of my very being by the end of every day. And by drained I mean... naw, I'll stop...**

**Thanks to my lovely reviewers, ZimAteWaffles, Insert Generic Fan Name Here, Rainbow-Man, Reigning Fyre, Ice Dragon3, Sighani, Chirp Chirp, SharpiesInAGayRainbow, Rambie, Liani Risate, ffnetlover, DTGC, kikomio, microwaved noodles, Kriss, DREIGNUS, DarkAngelKisses, Kurotorachan, Hashmir, and BarkingPup**

**  
-randomly gnaws on a book- What? You still here? Go! Review! -continues gnawing on book-**


	5. Chapter 5

_**My Beloved, My Betrayed**_

**Chapter 5**

**Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez. ****Insert your own witty comment here!**

"Skeeb, I need you to write a formal letter to Frylord Sizz-Lor on Foodcourtia concerning our food arrangement for the Massive and the Armada. The contract will expire soon, and if he plans to keep our business, it needs to be re-negotiated."

"Right away, Elite General," Dib responded, grabbing the stack of papers containing information on the Armada's food imports from Foodcourtia.

"Skeeb, I've asked you before, call me Tak," the Elite General said as she shuffled through various holographic files that floated above her on the desk-computer. Dib suspected that they probably had something to do with the string of murders.

"Sorry, ma'am," Dib apologized and quickly began reading through the previous negotiations.

"Don't apologize, especially for something so simple. It makes you seem weak. In your position, and with your height, it's important that you seem strong. You have a bright future ahead of you, Skeeb. There have been some whispers going around that you might become the next Tallest if you grow a bit more. Even if you don't, you're destined for a high status in the military and in the empire." Tak went back to the files before her, and gave an annoyed sigh.

"More murders?" Dib asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." Tak replied, engrossed in the confidential files before her.

"If you don't mind my asking, why exactly are you involved in these? After the Tallest, you're second in command. Isn't this a job for the law enforcement officers?"

"It _was_, but they proved too incompetent. The slaughters only increased, and started striking higher and higher ranking military officials. It was only a matter of time before I had to become involved. Even the Tallest are rather worried; an enemy within our mothership that we cannot seem to find, despite our best efforts, and who keeps killing our officers without any signs of slowing."

"I see..." said Dib, furiously scribbling away at the food supply negotiation. "There! How is this?" he asked, handing the document to his superior.

Tak snatched the paper out of his hand and quickly read through it. "This needs to be changed, as does this... And this part is worded rather strangely. Fix it." she said, pointing to each thing that needed to be addressed. "Besides those errors, it's very good."

"Thank you, ma'a- I mean Tak." Dib took the papers back and began his corrections.

"So... how goes things with _Zim..._?" Tak asked with malice coating the Zim's name.

"Well, I've been making a conscious effort to trash my s quarters right before he comes in, Although, I'm beginning to think that he might believe that I'm doing that simply so he can stay longer. Zim seems to thrive on any sort of attention, so even when I try to be cruel to him, he seems to enjoy it."

Tak's eye twitched. "What about physical pain?"

"Well... uh... I haven't really tried that yet... I'm not going to _BEAT_ him, if that's what you're implying..."

"No, outright beating him would be too obvious. I'm thinking more sneaky methods... leaving hazardous, painful materials out, maybe?"

"But I thought that Zim isn't allowed to be in contact with anything dangerous."

"True..." Tak rested her chin in her hand thoughtfully. "But there's no rule against him cleaning up toxic chemicals. I'll give you access to the labs."

Dib's eyes brightened. _Finally! A way to easily obtain more water!_ "I'll get right on it, ma'am! Hopefully this will end his kinda creepy fixation on me..."

There was no answer from Tak. Dib turned his head in her direction trying to see what was wrong. Her face was contorted into a heavy scowl, eyes narrowed considerably. "Fixation... you say...?"

"Yeah... it's as if he just can't get enough of me."

"He hasn't produced any sex attractant pheromones, has he?" Dib examined her closely before realizing that she wasn't kidding.

"No... why would he? Our race don't breed."

Tak muttered something about how much easier it would be if they taught these sorts of things during the early stages of smeet-hood. "It's rare, but not unheard of, for some Irkens to be attracted to others and to want to engage in sexual activities with lekku. A common sign of this is the release of pheromones. Even the ones who don't feel this attraction have difficulty withstanding the allure of these pheromones. If I find that Zim has been manipulating you through pheromones..." That look on her face... was it... jealousy? Why would that be there?

"Don't worry, I've been exposed to worse things that just pheromones during my training on Devastis. Besides, I'm not even sure if Zim would be intelligent enough to even know how to produce pheromones. If he could, he'd probably would every time he walks in front of a mirror."

Tak chuckled before going back to her cruel demeanor. "That's probably true... If he shows any sign – any sign at all – of trying to seduce you, tell me. How I would _love_ another reason to bash his skull in..."

Dib nodded, and sank into silence; a tense hush that lasted until the end of his scheduled time with the Elite General.

* * *

Dib raised his hands upwards as he leaned back, stretching his spine as he walked. At least the PAK didn't bother him as much as it did before; if he tried to stretch like that at the beginning of his infiltration of the Massive, it probably would have started bleeding.

Being with Tak always left him feeling drained and tired; he just wanted to get back to his quarters and sleep. It had been two days since he last took a rest. He wasn't as physically as tired as he should have been – the PAK was compensating for that – but there was no substitute for psychological fatigue.

So weary, that he almost didn't notice the scratching noise coming from the mass of wires that weaved its way in the high upper limits, thick enough to block the ceiling from eyes below. Detecting the sound, Dib looked upwards, but saw nothing. He was about to dismiss it, until he felt something wet fall upon his forehead. If he were on Earth, he would have assumed it water and simply brushed it off, but with the realization that he was among a race with severe chemical reactions towards dihydrogen monoxide, he wiped it off with wariness and looked at his hand.

A rich green-blue. Recognition overtook him in a wave, coupled with one of nausea. The last time he had seen this color, it had been splattered all over the floor... and the walls... and on the high wires and tubes... Wait! The tubes! Dib looked upwards once more as he rubbed the Irken blood between his two fingers, noting a small driblet of blood that was currently on the tube above him; the sound getting fainter and fainter as whatever it was up there got farther and farther away.

"FUCK!" Dib cried as two and two came together in his mind. He raced off in the same direction that the ceiling-creature seemed to be scurrying, forgetting all thoughts of making it back to his quarters.

Unfortunately for him, it wasn't an empty hallway. "'Scuse me! Outta my way! Move!" Dib cried as he shoved various Irkens out of the way; each time getting farther and farther behind. Most moved out of his path anyway – a rather tall, fully armored Irken coming at you at full force was enough to make the most dodge. Soon, the hall cleared out into a much less crowded one, allowing Dib to gain some speed again.

Every-so-often, through small gaps in the wire-mass, tiny glimpses of the figure above Dib could be seen as he ran. Slivers of red, black and silver. His glances of the creature increased as he began to draw nearer, although never quite enough to make out anything. He was almost underneath it. Through the gaps it was getting easier to see more and more-

SMACK! Dib fell backwards as he was introduced to a wall, quickly realized that he probably should have been paying attention to whatever was going on in front of him, and not just above.

"General Skeeb! Are you alright?" Dib looked up into a pair of bright, overly eager eyes.

"I've died and gone to Skoodge-land..." Dib muttered.

"What?" Skoodge asked, confused.

"Nothing... Hey, Skoodge – is there an easy way that I can get up there among the tubes in the ceiling? Like, _right now_?" Dib asked with eagerness.

"Down that hall, they droop some. You might be able to use your PAK legs to get through them, but no one is allowed up there. Why would-?"

"Thanks!" Dib shouted, breaking into a run once more, calling out behind him. "It's for an... um... important general thing..."

He quickly turned a corner, noticing that, indeed, the wires sagged slightly. They were still much higher than he would have preferred – a good fifteen feet above his head – but hopefully the mechanical power of the robotic legs hidden within his PAK could propel his body upwards.

The gold-colored spots of the PAK, the same color as Skeeb's eyes, retreated into the dome-shaped mechanism, allowing for four mechanical legs to appear in their places.

"Ok... how do I do this again...?" Dib wondered aloud as the mechanized limbs started flailing around randomly when he tried to raise himself upon them. With a little focus, he managed to shakily lift himself from the ground. "Here goes nothing!" he said with a cry, as he bent the legs and sprung upwards. Arms stretched upwards, Dib kept his focus on the lowest-hanging wires. The tips of his fingers brushed against them before the air whizzing past his head switched directions, signaling his descent. He collided with the hard ground in a painful, awkward angle.

'_K... Let's try that again..._ Dib quickly rose to his feet again, praying that whatever it was up in the rafters hadn't gone too far. Steadily, he pulled himself onto his PAK legs again, ready for round two of the battle of Dib vs. the Wires. Summoning all the might he could force onto the robotic appendages, Dib bent into a crouch and sprung upwards once more. Only a few inches higher this time, but enough to grasp the lowest of the wires with both hands. Dib hastily pulled himself up, and, balancing precariously, dug his way through the slack between them.

It was dark in the space between the wires and the ceiling, but the light coming from the hallway below gave some illumination, Allowing Dib to notice that there was enough room for him to fully stand. The 'ground' was too unstable and uneven for Dib to use his feet, so, against his better judgment, he kept the PAK legs out and decided to chase on those. Listening carefully, he managed to find the source of the noise and began pursuing its source with a clumsy, unbalanced gait atop the tendrils of machinery.

Eventually, a good distance away, Dib noticed a figure in the distance. The darkness made it almost indiscernible, but it was most definitely there. Unfortunately, it also noticed that he was there. The figure made a dash, as did Dib.

As he watched the silhouette, Dib had to notice that it seemed to move gracefully on thin appendages. PAK legs? But only Irkens had that sort of technology, unless there was something there with a stolen PAK... although, Dib knew from experience, it wasn't as simple as simply sticking on the back of another species. He had to go through all sorts of painful treatments simply to ensure that the PAK didn't reject his body.

Whatever it was, it was far more skilled than Dib when it came to balancing on the appendages from its back, and quickly outran the disguised human, despite Dib's best efforts to catch up. It turned a corner and had disappeared by the time Dib reached the intersection. With no way to follow the figure, Dib turned back and carefully climbed down the limp wires. He still fell painfully on his face.

"General Skeeb... Are you alright?"

"Skoodge... What are you still doing here?"

"... I'm not sure..." Skoodge replied, scratching his head.

"Look – make yourself useful. Go find the law enforcement. I need to let them know something _really_ important."

Dib watched the short, overweight Irken run on squat, stumpy legs. He went in a direction of his own, feeling that he would be faster to find someone of any authority that would be willing to listen.

* * *

The human flopped onto his bed, not even bothering to disengage his holographic disguise. He just hoped that he would be uninterrupted for a few hours.

When Dib finally found an Irken in law enforcement, he realized that it was merely a drone, too low of rank to even know about the murder situation, so he had to wait until the small Irken called one of his superiors over. By the time the second Irken had arrived, whatever was hiding in the rafters was long gone. A search was performed, and Dib underwent rigorous questioning of the event, but neither produced any sort of substantial results. ("For the last time, no! I have no idea what it was doing with PAK legs. Stop asking that question! It's been seven times!") The only piece of information that seemed to come from the investigation was the discovery of many paths consisting of small pot-marks in the wires and tubes. They seemed to trail everywhere, giving no leads as to where they could have originated. The depth and shape indicated that Dib hadn't just created them himself, proving that there was _something_ that was, at one point, up there.

Needless to say, Dib wanted – no, needed – some rest. Alas, it was not to be.

The mechanical door whizzed open, revealing a small Irken and his SIR unit as they entered the room. It quickly shut again.

"What do you want, Zim?" asked Dib, turning over from lying on his stomach in order to face the janitor. Immediately, something seemed off. He had to give a double-take; the dark gaze Zim's face was a look he'd never seen there before. Malice. Anger. Discontentment. Sheer Motivation. Expressions he'd seen so many times of other faces, yet on Zim's normally idiotic one they looked so foreign.

"GIR! Duty Mode! Secure the door!" Zim barked, his gaze not leaving Dib.

"Awwww... But I dun' wanna..." moped GIR, his single antenna drooping.

Zim tilted his head towards GIR's direction, his voice taking a softer, although still stern, tone. "GIIIIIR... if you stare at the door long enough and make sure no one comes in, it'll turn into one of those..." Zim rotated his wrist a few times, trying to think of the term. "...Earth-pig creatures that you're so fond of..."

GIR let out a shrill squeak as he immediately perked up. His eyes changed to a glowing red as he began to intently stare at the door.

"Well, now that that's taken care of," said Zim, with a smirk. His zippered smile that Dib had again and again appeared, although, this time, it just looked wrong in comparison with the ones that replayed themselves in his mind. Each square denticle mockingly sneered at him.

Dib pulled himself off of the bed and instinctively took a step backwards as the small form came towards him. "What are you doing here, Zim?"

That demented smile widened even further as Zim's PAK opened, revealing four metallic legs. Zim lifted himself on the legs, allowing him to tower over Dib and giving him the look of a giant spider. Dib backed up again, finding himself pressed against the wall. "You see, '_Skeeeeeeb_,' I've been observing you since you arrived here. Zim has a question, and it would be in your best interests to answer honestly." To further emphasize his point, Zim stabbed one of the PAK legs through Dib's bed. The sharpened point cut through the pillows and mattress with ease.

"Zim... what are you talking ab- ... wait... It's you, isn't it? _You're_ the one who's-"

Zim cut Dib off by maneuvering himself close to the human, forcing Dib to be pressed against the wall. The man felt his heart switch gears into panic mode as Zim pulled Dib's head up, forcing it to stare directly into the Irken one. One of Zim's robotic appendages lingered dangerously close to Dib's neck. "You're not the one in charge here, '_Skeeb_.' _Zim_ is the one asking the questions. Now, _what exactly __**are**__ you?_"

**Whoo-hoo! New chapter in record time! It's a sign... Although, I'm not quite sure of **_**what...**_** Probably just something like a zombie invasion... I don't know about you, but I've certainly got my zombie invasion shelter ready, as well as all my zombie shelter supplies (Pencil - check. Paper - check. Pen - check. Comic books - check. Food... eh... doesn't look like I have enough room for that...) **

**I hate how this chapter is so much shorter than the others, I really do, but I also **_**reaaaaaaaaaaally **_**wanted to end the chapter here. Call me evil – it's completely true.**

**Thanks to the reviewers for the last chapter! ****Reigning Fyre****, ****Hashmir****, ****lordofnightmares****, ****RandomShadow****, ****SharpiesInAGayRainbow****, ****Ice Dragon3****, ****Insert Generic Fan Name Here****, ****BarkingPup****, ****Rainbow-Man****, ****ffnetlover****, ****DTGC****, ****Zira Thirteen****, ****Desdemona Kakalose****, and ****Kikomio****. **

**Every time you review, I shall hire a pair of midgets to read your comment out loud while reenacting Shakespeare's "The Tempest."**


	6. Chapter 6

_**My Beloved, My Betrayed**_

**Chapter 6**

**Invader Zim (c) Jhonen Vasquez, who, at night, secretly transforms into Optimus Prime. IZ TRUUUUE! AH' SEEEEEEEEEEEEEES EET!**

**... Dear god, I'm going off the deep end, aren't I...?**

"Zim, what are you talking abou-"

"SILENCE!" the Zim cried, pushing a sharpened PAK leg slightly against Dib's neck. Not strong enough to kill him, but enough to break the skin ever-so-slightly and cause discomfort. "You know EXACTLY what Zim is talking about. Lose the disguise before Zim forces you to."

Dib wrapped his hands around the PAK leg digging into his neck and tried to pull it out. The act of resistance only made Zim press harder. "Damnit, Zim! What the hell are you doing?! This is treason! You-"

"Is it? Is it, _Skeeeeb_? Is it _really_ treason when your commanding officer isn't even of your own planet? Is it treason when your upper is a _spy_? Zim is just doing his duty as an Irken citizen. Now, answer Zim's question; who are you, and who are you working for?! _Tell Ziiiiiiiiiiim..._" he said with an intense glint in his eye.

Dib grunted, using all the strength he could muster to attempt to move the dangerous PAK leg away of his neck. The product of Irken engineering was far too strong for him, though, leaving his efforts fruitless; he couldn't pull it out, and moving the mechanical leg to the side would put his jugular in jeopardy. "Your _duty_!? Your duty is to obey orders, and as your Taller, your order is to _QUIT_ this madness!"

"Ah wanna help, mastah!" GIR said with an idiotic smile, waving at nothing in particular.

"Keep staring at that door, GIR." Zim called back before glaring fiercely into Dib's eyes. "Where was I... oh yeah – wrong answer, _Skeeeeeb..._" The PAK leg dug slightly deeper into Dib's neck. The human could feel warm, sticky blood beginning to slip down his neck, pressed between his body and solidified hologram surrounding it. "I happen to know for a fact that you aren't Irken. It's been becoming increasingly obvious, at least, _if_ you know what to look for."

"'Increasingly obvious?' What the hell are you talking about?" Dib mentally smacked himself; those two words probably weren't the best choice to immediately protest – the "not Irken" accusation was far weightier.

"So, you admit it?" Zim asked, raising his antenna slightly.

"What? Absolutely not!" and, with a cry, Dib's right hand let go of the PAK leg. He pulled it back, and let a punch fly. The fist connected with Zim's jawbone with a wet-sounding smack. Out of surprise, Zim backed up slightly, giving Dib the opportunity to push the mechanical leg off of his neck away without harming his precious jugular, leaving an angry, bloody line on his skin underneath the hologram, but also freeing him. Dib quickly released his own PAK legs in retaliation. "What the FUCK has gotten into you, Zim?! I order you to stand down!"

"My apologies, _my Taller_, but that's an order that Zim cannot follow." Zim sent one of the PAK legs flying towards Dib, striking him and creating a deep gash on one of the armored gauntlets of his uniform. "In fact, I don't think that I'll be following ANY of your orders."

"Just like the PAK-programmed orders, stating that you cannot kill other Irkens, eh? Didn't follow those orders either." Zim snarled in fury as Dib dodged a second PAK leg swerving towards him. "I'll take that as acknowledgement that it _is_ you?" He dodged once more before using his own PAK legs to clumsily swing towards Zim, letting momentum carry him into a swift kick in Zim's gut.

"MY SQUEEDILYSPOOCH!" Zim cried.

Dib, sensing Zim's moment of weakness, dived down and grabbed Zim by the cuff of his shirt. "What the hell are you do-"

"MY SQUEEDILYSPOOCH!"

"What are you-"

"SPOOOOOOOOOCH!"

Dib slapped Zim across the face. "Hey – you cut that out! What the hell are you doing? What the fuck is going on here?"

Despite his size, Zim managed to pull Dib off and made distance between them as he pulled himself onto his PAK legs once more. "Get off me, filth-creature! Zim has killed for much lesser offences!"

"Hey – how can you call me a filth-creature when you don't even know what I am?" Zim smirked as Dib realized his slip. "...Oh fuck..."

The small Irken struggled out of Dib's grip and raised himself on mechanical legs once more. "Soooooo... ready to tell me yet?" Zim flung another PAK leg in Dib's direction, which Dib awkwardly dodged, having it graze his leg.

"Why do you even care? You're a member of the Resisty, you're most likely killing the ones in the ship – Irken duty is evidentially NOT one of your strong points. Hell, why are you even trying to kill me right now?!" Another mechanical appendage flew towards the human, barely missing Dib's face. He managed to grab it and give a sharp tug, pulling Zim out of the center of balance on the remaining three legs and causing the Irken to fall over.

"... Actually, I'm not sure... GIR! Tell me again why was I trying to kill the dirt-stink over there?"

"AH'M STARIN' A' DA DOOR!!" GIR shrieked, his face currently rubbing up and down the sliding door.

"GIR, you can _obey meeeeee_ _WHILE_ staring at the door. Why did Zim want to kill the Skeeb?" Zim pointed at a very confused Dib.

"Ah dunnoooooo... somethin' 'bout a taco?" GIR then squeaked and ran over to his master, jumping up and down. "Can we go me get a tacooooo? Pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? _Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee_?"

Zim completely ignored GIR's whining and focused his attention to Dib, folding the four mechanical legs into his PAK in the process. "Fine... how about a truce... You lose the disguise – and the PAK, just to be sure – and I'll explain my business with the Resisty. And _WILL YOU GET BACK THERE AND WATCH THE DOOR_!"

"Taaaaaa_coooooooooooooo..._"

"And how do I know that I can trust you?" Dib asked with venom-coated words, still balanced on spindly metal legs.

"Zim asks you the same question..."

"Taaacooooo! Taco taco TAAAAACOOOOOO!!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Dib snapped at GIR. Letting his guard down slightly, the human collapsed the PAK legs back into their metal pod. "Zim, if, for some reason, you betray me, I WILL let everyone know that you are a member of the Resisty, and that YOU are the one who keeps killing Irken Officers. They're more likely to believe me than you anyway."

"Blah blah blah. Less talky, more take-off-disguise-y." Zim said, lowering himself to the floor and putting his robotic limbs away in his PAK.

"Fine..." Dib mumbled, before allowing the hologram to grow fainter; green fading into pale tan, antenna fading into nothing, where there was nothing, hair, ears, and a nose came into view. He rubbed the front his neck where Zim had been pressing down, and then looked at his hand, smeared with his own blood. With a small crinkle of his nose in disgust, Dib rooted through his wardrobe to find something to soak up the crimson liquid.

Zim jumped back in surprise. "Holy Irk – you're a human-nasty!"

"Keen observation there, Sherlock." Dib responded as he threw a now blood-soaked towel on the floor – he reminded himself to burn it later in order to destroy the evidence – and began to remove the PAK.

"What's a Sherlock?" Zim asked. Dib decided that he wouldn't grace the Irken with an answer.

With a small click and a wave of painful tingling and burning down his spine, the device removed itself from his central nervous system. He then pulled it out of the ports and placed it on the ruined bed near him, keeping it in his peripheral vision, just in case Zim tried to pull something. After all, it was crucial if he planned to keep his disguise.

With the PAK gone, the sleep deprivation that had been accumulating over his time hit him with a mighty pulse. Dib sleepily ruffled his flattened hair, giving it air after being pressed down by the solid hologram for so long. As if on cue, his scythe-like cowlick bounced up.

Before Dib could say anything else, Zim cut him off with an accusatory, pointing finger at the trademark cowlick. "Wait a moment... you're one of the _Membrane-filthies_, aren't you?"

"There's nothing filthy about me! ...Is there?"

"You're human. That makes you filthy."

Dib just rolled his eyes, ignoring Zim's statement. "My real name is Dib Membrane. I was sent here by the Empire of Earth."

"And...?"

"And, what? You just told me to drop the disguise. I don't have to let you know anything else," Dib said, arms crossed. "Now, your end. What are you doing within the Resisty? How did you even manage to override your loyalty programming and join them?"

Zim completely ignored Dib's questions. "So – you're one of the humans meant to be in charge of the rest of your smelly race full of _smeeeeeeell_, 'cuz you were born into the Membrane family-unit, right? ... Meh - Zim will never understand you humans' hierarchal system... So, why are you _here_, in the midst of your species' enemies? Lose a bet or something? Huh? Huh?"

Dib sneered. "That's classified information."

"And, don't you have a sibling-creature? Why are there two of you? The records indicate that everyone one of your predecessors was the only smeet in their human family-unit."

"... Why do you even know that?"

"It's basic Irken knowledge. Besides, Zim's been alive long before your pathetic family managed to obtain its stranglehold on your planet's WRETCHED economy."

"You know, and here I was, hoping that the whole 'ZIIIIIIIIM this' and 'ZIIIIIIIIM that' business was just a part of your guise, and not your actual personality."

"Zim does not understand what you're talking about..."

"Evidentially." Dib buried his face in his palm, gathering his thoughts before speaking to Zim again. "Look, Zim, I don't know WHY my father had two children. He or my mom probably forgot to use a condom or birth control or something. That's probably the most RANDOM detail of my family history you could have brought up. As to why I'm here – I told you, that's classified information. Information I _might_ be more willing to share if you just _teeeell meeeee about your conneeections tooo the Resiiiiisty_..." he said, dragging out the final phrase for emphasis.

"Fine, then. I'm sure that even you pathetic filth-creatures have heard of the Irken-Meekrob war."

Dib nodded. "Yeah, the Irkens broke the Irken-Meekrob alliance by secretly sending an invader, having the conflict escalate into an interplanetary war."

Zim scoffed. "It's never as simple as that. You, working closely with the Earth military, should know that much. There are always _ulterior motives_." He turned his back walked away from the human for dramatic emphasis. He had information that the Dib wanted. The human wouldn't risk harming him. "So, tell me, Membrane-stinky; would you like to hear the _truth_ behind that war, specifically from the Irken who was DOOMED to 'invade' Meekrob?"

Dib simply nodded, trying to urge Zim to continue.

"Well, after an – errrr – _accident_ during Operation Impending Doom One, I was banished to the planet Foodcourtia, where I was assigned as a food service drone. With the onset of the Great Assigning for Operation Impending Doom II, I hurried back to my empire, hoping to regain lost glory. Unfortunately the Tallest weren't forgiving. In an attempt to do away with me once and for all, they gave me that defective robot, GIR, and 'assigned' me to Meekrob; while, at the same time, telling the Meekrob emperor that for 'diplomatic purposes,' they couldn't destroy me themselves, and needed an outside force to do it." Zim sat down on the circular bed. Dib instinctively moved the PAK away from the other, being sure to keep it close.

"The Tallest led me to believe that I was on a real mission – a FILTHY LIE THAT I, _ZIIIIIM,_ ALLOWED MYSELF TO BELIEVE FOR TWO YEARS!! NNNNNNGGGGG!" Zim's claws managed to wrap themselves around a circular pillow from the bed, and were currently tearing it into tiny shreds in frustration with a guttural cry. Dib was about to say something to stop him, but paused. It probably wouldn't be in his best interests to snap Zim out of his little tirade.

A few moments passed. The small Irken had calmed down after successfully tearing the cushion into oblivion. "Ummm... I meant to do that..." With his foot, Zim scooted the remnants of stuffing under the bed. Dib wondered what ELSE the Irken had stuffed under there while cleaning his room.

"Anyway, after two Meekrobian years of the DISGUSTING energy-beasts somehow constantly being a step ahead of me, I finally realized that there had to be a mole. The Tallest were the only ones I shared information with, so, with a heavy heart, I came to the realization that – GIR! I _TOOOOLD_ YOU TO WATCH THAT DOOR!" Zim cried with a sharp, pointing finger, making the robot scamper back to the magical pig-door.

Dib raised an eyebrow while still maintaining his hardened stare, unsure of what to do. "...By any chance do you have ADD?"

"Yes, Zim can add. _And_ spell. What sort of _styoo-pid_ question is that?" Zim sulked, crossing his arms to accentuate his annoyance at such an obvious question. "Anyway, back to my story, before your little mathematical outburst-"

Dib rolled his eyes.

"I came to realize that my Tallest had never assigned me Meekrob; they had sent me there to die. Eventually, contact became less and less, until another Meekrobian year passed without any sort of transmission from the Massive. By that point, I began to look at my options. I could continue the 'mission,' ask to join the FILTHY Meekrob government, enlist in an outside force, try to leave the planet, or simply make due. I couldn't leave – the Meekrob military would have been able to easily locate and destroy a small Irken ship attempting to leave their atmosphere with their STUUUUPID energies. Joining them was out as well. They believed me a dangerous criminal that their 'allies' had asked them to destroy, and had agreed to do so, hoping to strengthen the bonds between the two planets. Sitting it out – well, that's a little BORING... I am ZIM! Something as amazing as Zim shouldn't be bored all the time..." Zim raised his claws in triumph that seemed to exist only in his head.

"So, left with two options, so I did the ONLY LOGICAL THING - I took both of them. I tried to weaken the Meekrob government, although, this time, not for my Tallest. Not for my empire. I wanted them to taste the sweet, sweet _burn_ upon their planet caused by the creature known as ZIIIIIIM. I wanted them to FEAR my name. I wanted them to know that ZIM WAS STILL THERE! I WANTED THEM TO REGRET EVEN CONSIDERING DESTROYING _**ZIIIIM**_! _I WANTED THEM TO-_"

"Yeah, I get it. You wanted attention. Go on with the story."

"... Well, Zim didn't want the Tallest to know that he had discovered the truth from their lies, and stopping the 'mission' would have clued them in... and I had nothing better to do..." The green alien pouted, arms crossed. "ANYWAY! In the slums of a Meekrobian city, I managed to find a Vortian by the name of Lard-Nar. I had known him during my short time as a military scientist on Vort. Funny story there – an infinite energy consuming blob ACTUALLY _ISN'T_ as cool as it sounds like it should be..." Dib spun his hand around in circles, trying to force Zim to get to the point; frustrated by the Irken's small tangents.

"Lard-Nar had started a small resistance group against the Irken government; one that you've heard of. After all, it's well known in this day and age. Second only to your pathetic HYYUUUUMAN government as a threat to Irk. _The Resisty_. He was patrolling the various low-lifes, looking for recruits. At first, Lard-Nar was hesitant to allow me to join, being... well... Irken, as well as a former Invader, but we had a history. When he heard of my... _predicament_... I was accepted. He knew that the empire had nothing else for Zim; they had made it quite clear that I wasn't wanted. I knew that I wanted nothing else to do with my Tallest after their betrayal. The Tallest _are_ the empire, and my hatred went out towards my entire race. To prove my loyalty and worth to the fledgling resistance, I managed to use my SUPERIOR skills to get assorted information from my former planet, thus aiding their growing opposition.

"It was by that time that the grubby Meekrob-creatures began to get suspicious of their Irken 'allies'. I was still alive and causing massive damages to them, despite their best efforts to destroy me. By that time, Irk was getting annoyed with Meekrob's failure in killing me, and assigned Tak to destroy me herself. The Meekrob energy-beasts saw her arrival as a veiled threat of invasion, and began to turn their backs on the Tallest. I managed to play into that hand by placing myself in largely populated areas and purposely causing damages to the Meekrob during the small battles between Tak and myself. To them, my behavior wouldn't have changed after years of hiding; therefore Tak must have been responsible for the devastation and lives lost.

"Tensions arose even further when Irk learned that a new resistance group, which just-so happened to be the Resisty, was situated and gaining recruits on Meekrob. The Resisty had proved time and time again that they had information on the Armada. The Tallest had every reason to suspect that it had been given to them by the Meekrob government, as they made no attempt to hide their growing wariness. Irk began sending their soldiers into Meekrob territory, looking for this new threat. It was only a matter of time until, one day, an explosion in the Meekrob capital building – arranged by yours truly – caused the two growing forces to clash, resulting in a war with massive casualties on both sides."

Dib sat in the computer chair, his fingers curled around his chin in contemplation. He knew the gist of the story from what Skoodge had told him, as well as bits and pieces from his education on Earth, although, that generally revolved about it's battles and after effects, not this hidden complex story behind it. From Skoodge, he knew that Zim was involved, but hadn't figured that Zim had been _this_ involved.

Zim, the egotistical janitorial drone. Zim, the clumsy, obnoxious loud-mouth. How much of Zim had he not seen before? Before, Zim - in all respect - was an Irken that, only an hour before, was someone that Dib easily believed couldn't find his way out of a paper bag. Now, he saw the small drone in a completely different light. _Zim, the small, seemingly insignificant Irken who had managed to almost single-handedly manipulate two large galactic forces into a costly war. _The human still had his doubts, though.

"Well... those are some pretty heavy claims you're making, Zim... especially from an Irken of your, well, current status. No offence, but I really haven't seen much that makes me believe that you're a devious mastermind..."

"Well, you haven't seen much besides the act that Zim's been putting on for you - as well as for the rest of the Massive - eh, Earth-stink?" Zim said, leaning over with a devious grin. "No, I've decided that it's for the best that the empire doesn't see the full awesomeness of Zim. It gives me more room to... errrrr... um... do stuff..." He flashed his zippered smile, still full of malice but with a hint of the playfulness that Dib was more used to.

"Like killing Irkens."

"... Maybe." An antenna twitched. Zim evidentially didn't want to talk about that.

"So, after the war started, what happened? You're still with the Resisty, your empire seems to have grudgingly accepted you back. What came next?" Dib inquired, putting his PAK back on.

"You asked about my connections to the Resisty. I gave you that, and, out of the kindness simply _oozing_ out of my spooch, a little more," Zim stated, pointing a claw at Dib's face for emphasis.

Dib smirked as he leaned back some. "You're trying to dig out more information about _my_ mission, aren't you?"

Zim returned the gesture, leaning back some on Dib's battle-scarred bed as he crossed his arms. "Observant, for a hyuuu-man."

"I'm just going to ignore that human comment..." Dib said with a raised eyebrow, although, still keeping an intense gaze. "How did you know that I wasn't really Skeeb? You said it was becoming 'increasingly obvious.' How so?"

"Well, to tell the truth, I decided to become your janitor in an attempt to learn information about the government and the Tallest, and then just kill you afterwards. After close observation, though, things around you didn't seem to add up. Erratic, almost secretive behavior, a small glimpse without your disguise, GIR's constant comments about your head being 'Flappeh' and 'Pink...' but what really allowed Zim to put two and two together – that makes four, by the way. See, Zim can add. – Was THIS!" Zim's PAK opened up, and, after some shuffling, the janitorial drone pulled out what appeared to be a glass beaker in a plastic baggie. Zim shoved the bag in Dib's face and jiggled it around. "Nnnnng! Nnnnng!" Zim grunted, stressing the bouncing of the glass.

"That's just an empty glass, Zim."

"Well, it _WAS_! I found it hidden in your closet. When I scanned it, it showed trace amounts of dihydrogen monoxide. Were you Irken, you wouldn't have any use for such a deadly chemical. What were you doing with it? Hmmmmmm?"

"Drinking it." A silence.

"Uh... Really? Not... anything cooler than that? No dihydrogen monoxide bombs? No poisoning of snack supplies? No sporadic splashing of random security drones just to LAUGH as they roll around in pain? That's actually a lot of fun, you know."

"Um... no, not really. Humans kinda need water. You know, to survive... Don't they teach you Irkens that sort of thing about your enemies?"

"Meh – I completed my training before anyone even cared that you pathetic hyuu-mans existed. I have no need to go back there just to learn about your stoo-pid race."

Dib grunted. "So, random facts about my family's history are _common knowledge,_ but the basic fact that humans need water to survive isn't? What sort of 'superior race' are you Irkens claiming to be, again?"

"Hmph! Mock Irk all you want, filthy human, but you know, deep in your _squishy, DIRTY_ organs, that it is a formidable foe. Your race would never be able to defeat them on your own..." Zim spat, before pausing and giving Dib a wary glare. "You know, you never _did _explain why you're here. You said you would after I explained my Resisty connections. Zim _demaaaaands_ to know!"

"Uhh... no," Dib said with a confident smile and a raised eyebrow.

Zim was seething. "And why NOT?!" he asked, furious.

"Frankly, I don't trust you. You _seem_ to be telling the truth, but I can't be sure. And, then, I have a feeling that there's a _lot_ more to you and the Resisty than what you're telling me. Not to mention, I never actually _said_ that I would give you the information. I just told you that I _might_ be more _willing_. All you need to know is that I'm retrieving information for my planet by impersonating one of your kind."

Zim glared and stuck out his serpentine tongue childishly, the universal sign for immature disgust. Damn that human and his loopholes!

Another awkward silence followed. Dib finally spoke up to shatter the uncomfortable stillness. "Sooo... now what?"

"Hmmm?"

"I mean... You're a rebel, trying to exact vengeance against your government for past wrongs, and I'm a member of a race at war with said government, trying to assimilate with the Irken government and act as a spy... what happens now?"

The devious zippered smile returned. "Soooo... why fight against each other, my fair Dub-stink-"

"Dib."

"Right. That's what I said. Dib... NOW! We're both working towards the same goal, yeeeeees?"

"Well, actually, the Resisty is trying to tear apart the empire, while Earth is trying to usurp it-"

"Zim SAID, we're both working towards the _same goal, yeeeeeeeeeeeees_?" the small, green creature said, antenna flattening in mild irritation.

"I guess, in a round-about way."

"So, what say you? Individually, we might cause the empire irritation, but with our _combined efforts, _the Armada may fall. Or get more irritated than they would otherwise."

Dib rubbed his chin. "I see what you're getting at..."

"I dooooooooon't..." the insane robot drooled. Zim glared. GIR saluted, and went back to watch the door. It still hadn't turned into an Earth-pig. He must not have been staring hard enough at it.

Satisfied with his robot minion's behavior, Zim focused his attention onto Dib once more. "Just think of the things that we could do together – our combined resources, combined brainpower. They'll never know what hit them! We shall bring the empire to its knees!" Zim, with bursting excitement, wrapped one arm around Dib's shoulder while stretching the other out in front of them, as if he were already showing the human the results of their efforts laid out before them.

Dib's lips stretched into a sinister grin, his eyes meeting those of the Irken's. "You know, Zim, I think I'm beginning to like you more and more."

"I knew you'd see things my way, Membrane... Oh yeah... And Dib..."

"Hmmmm...?"

"Try to work on that talking to yourself thing..."

**The lure of a new tablet is far too great to resist. Sorry, guys – in my life, art takes priority to writing, so a tablet proves to be a MAJOR distraction... so does band camp.**

**Reading so many bad!fics (and a few good!fics) lately has finally given me the drive to finish this chapter, which had been sitting on my hard drive - almost fully completed - for about a month. It didn't help that I REAAAAAAAAALLY wanted this chapter to be excellent, considering it's a bit of a pivotal point in the story. I am such a lazy-ass. **

**In order to make up for my laziness, the midgets promised in the last chapter have been forced to do Shakespearian reenactments of your comments nonstop for the past 83 hours. They are currently in my room, plotting my demise while acting out the scene where they're cast onto the deserted island by a magical storm at sea. **

**Much thanks to my lovely reviewers, - ****RandomShadow****, ****Dr.Scarecrow****, ****Hashmir****, ****kikomio****, ****Ice Dragon****, ****Zira Thirteen****, ****ffnetlover****, ****Death Aaya****, ****DTGC****, ****Insert Generic Fan Name Here****, ****Rambie****, ****Reigning Fyre****, ****Maran Zelde****, and ****andalitebandit-6****.**

**Reviews make my ass less lazy. Please save it from lethargy. **


	7. Chapter 7

**My Beloved, My Betrayed**

**Chapter 7**

"No! I absolutely refuse!"

"Agent Membrane! You knew you'd have to do this, and _agreed _to it when you were assigned this mission – we gave you special desensitivity training _just_ so you could complete this task!"

Dib slammed his fist down upon the large computer as he stared angrily at the giant screen, the glowing image of his father reflected in his eyes. "You said that there _might_ be a _possibility_ that I'd have to do it – I was under the impression that it was a last-resort situation, not something _mandatory_!"

Both lightly danced around the subject, avoiding the dreaded word, as if avoiding the sound of it could erase it or at least make it less severe – less appalling an action.

"I refuse! It's... I am NOT going to CONSIDER mu-... _THAT_... upon members of my own race!" Dib bit his lip in disgust and stared angrily before speaking in a lower, somewhat more menacing tone than before. "I may have let you modify me in order to complete this mission, _Dad_. You may have given me _extreme_ amounts of desensitivity training. You may have added an Irken PAK to me. You may have altered my physique, replaced my eyes, and even changed my body chemistry, BUT I STILL HOLD MY HUMANITY, which I consider to be The. Most. Important. Thing. that I possess on this mission. I am_ NOT_ to throw that away."

Professor Membrane glared – or, Dib assumed he glared. One could never tell what happened behind the man's large goggles. They only added another level of disconnect to his already strained relationship with his son. "We've already deployed our men. It will take several days for them to arrive at the Massive. Regardless of what you do, the outcome at our end will be the same. I'd advise that you remember what you're fighting for and make sure that the result is in _Earth's_ favor."

This time it was Dib's turn to glare. He opened his mouth to say something, but, after some thought, closed it tight. There was no arguing with his father; Professor Membrane's word was absolute. With a sneer aimed towards his father, he switched the transmission off. Muscles tense, Dib finally relaxed and stood up as he leaned over the Irken keyboard; head down, arms on the table for support, shoulders rounded. He took a few deep breaths before standing up fully again and looking upwards at the familiar tubes and wires above him.

"Zim, I know you're up there." He called.

The wires above the human shifted, and a small, lithe form fell through the tangle and effortlessly landed on PAK legs, followed by a small robot, which promptly fell on said form's head, destroying the effect of the graceful landing.

"How did you know that ZIIIIIIIIIM was up there?" the Irken inquired, as usual, putting stressed emphasis on his own name.

"Well, because 'ZIIIIIIIIIM's' robot minion kept giggling throughout the whole transmission to my father." Dib spat, adding little air quotes as he imitated the Irken. "I'm just praying that he couldn't hear GIR's squeals on his end."

"Ah was squeeeeeeealin' like an earth-piggeh'... IN AN IRON MAAAAAIDEN!" GIR half-screeched, half-giggled. Both his master and the human chose to ignore the robot's last statement.

"Zim... just… just leave. I'm not in the mood to put up with your antics right now." Dib grunted as he sat on the soft bed, hoping Zim would, just this once, pick up basic social cues.

Today was obviously not the day that Zim miraculously gained common sense. "Naw. I'm good right here... ... ... _SOOOOO_... What were you and your father talking about? TELL ZIIIIIM!..." Zim paused, trying to get a reaction out of Dib. The human simply around, as if he could make Zim disappear if the alien left his vision. The made the Irken twitch an antenna. "Hey!" Zim promptly marched to the other side of the bed, grabbed Dib's head, keeping the human from turning around again. "Answer Zim when he talks to you!" He poked Dib's nose with a hard jab.

"Ay! Stop that!" Dib knocked Zim's hands off of his face, glaring. "It's really none of your business, Zim. Besides, I told you, I'm not in the mood."

"I beg to differ, Dib-creature. I thought that we had an agreement, _partner_. It seems to me that it is _entirely_ Zim's business. Why, how are we to work together towards the glorious fall of the empire if we insist on keeping secrets on important matters?" Dib continued his glare. Zim tried to coax him even more. "I was able to tell that the humans have something planned soon, and that you have a big part in it. Something... _unpleasant_." Zim smirked. "You know, Zim has had to do many an unpleasant thing – and enjoyed every second of it. If your constitution is too delicate for whatever task is asked of you, Zim could be of service..."

Dib turned around once again to avoid seeing Zim's zippered smirk. He was already in a bad mood, and seeing the Irken's gleeful face after insulting the human's pride only infuriated him more. "It's none of your business, you damn sadist! It's not that I'm weak; it's not that I'm afraid. In this crazy situation, the only thing that I have to hang onto is my own humanity…" He turned around to threateningly glare at Zim. "And I refuse to let that go!"

"Ah… but isn't humanity simply the state of being hyuu-man, Dib-creature? It appears to Zim that you have already met this criterion - for the most part."

"Humanity means more than just being- HEEEEY! What the hell do you mean by 'for the most part?'"

"Nothing." Zim seemed to answer entirely too quickly.

Dib narrowed his eyes. "I may have a PAK, but I am NOTHING like you Irkens!" Dib declared earnestly. "I am still a human, and still hold onto my human beliefs. _That_ is humanity!"

"And yet, your father-unit seems to hold different beliefs than you do. Does that make him not one of your filthy hyuu-mans?"

Dib continued to stare in the opposite direction of Zim, seething. "Dad – I mean _Professor Membrane_ –" Dib spat out his father's name as if it were a foul taste, "is entirely human as well. We just happen to have differing ideas on how I should carry out this mission."

"But which idea is the one that makes you hyuu-man? Your mouth-words contradict each other, Dib-stink. Do you mean to say that you and your spawn-maker are completely different species? Teeeeeeeell Ziiiiiiim!"

"No… I… er…" Dib stuttered, feeling Zim's completely unorthodox logic catch him off-guard. "Look, humanity is a human thing stemming from pride. You Irkens wouldn't get it. I mean, look at you, mercilessly killing off your own kind. You would _never_ understand the complexities of humanity."

"So, the Membrane asked you to kill some hyuuu-mans and you're getting cold feet, huh?" Zim said with a knowing smirk.

"It's more complex than that, it's cold-blooded murd- Wait a minute! I never said anything about murder!"

"Ahh… but Dib-creature, you implied it… But look at your dirt-creature past! You hyuuu-mans used to fight each other constantly, always KILLING other members of your species off like the DIRTY STINK-MONKEYS they are, simply because they lived in different regions. Do you mean to say that your ancestors were not hyuu-man? If Zim is correct - and he always is - they claimed to possess this… this… _hyuuu-manity_ ideal as well. Your view of your worm-baby race is too stiff."

Dib growled, irritated that, although he didn't want Zim to even consider the concept of murdering humans simply so that Dib wouldn't have to, the small Irken caught on anyway. As idiotic and annoying as Zim could be, he could prove to be clever. For Dib, it was one thing to kill members of an alien species, but as a member of the human race… Dib felt that he would never be able to forgive himself if he took part in murdering members his own species. "I swear, Zim…"

"YES! I AM _ZIIIIIIM_! And because I am Zim, my logic is _INFALLIBLE_!" Zim cried, almost instinctually from hearing his own name.

Dib's anger skyrocketed. The human grabbed the short Irken by the shoulders. "If you even DARE murder any of my species, Zim, god help you, I will personally TEAR your arms out of your sockets, BEAT you with them, RIP OUT your antenna, force you to EAT them, and then proceed to KILL you SLOWLY and _PAINFULLY_…" He said slowly, shaking the green, obnoxious creature for extra emphasis.

"GIR! PROTECT ZIIIIIIIIIIIIM!" Zim screeched louder than necessary, making Dib flinch from the high, nasally voice.

"Yes, my master!" The small robot, who, virtually ignored up until this point, gave a sharp salute accompanied with glowing-red eyes. In his usual awkward, straight-legged gait, GIR strode towards his master, snatched Zim out of Dib's clutches, and set the Irken down three feet away from the human's reach before reverting back to his regular cyan colored eyes and resumed his previous activity – attempting to eat his own head.

"HA HA! VICTORY FOR ZIIIIIM!" the Irken gloated.

Dib untensed his muscles and attempted to calm down from his rage, knowing that wouldn't accomplish trying to reason with Zim if he was filled with fury, although, the back of his mind told him that he probably wouldn't be able to reason with Zim in the first place.

After the mood had resumed to relative calm, Zim spoke up. "I may not know the specifics of your mission, but Zim does know this – it is obviously more detailed than simple information gathering. And you are right, Zim may not understand your concept of hyuuu-manity, but it is a concept based off of pride, and THAT I can understand. Don't worry, Dib-stink. Zim will not harm a FILTHY hair on any of your PATHETIC race's head. The role of hyuuu-man slaughter will be yours alone."

As much as Dib wanted to refute Zim's last statement, he held his tongue. This was probably the closest to reasoning with the Irken that he'd be able to accomplish on the matter. "Thank you… Zim," Dib said hesitantly.

"Yes, yes, Zim is amazing and very gracious." Zim declared, giving the expression of gratitude little thought. "NOW! So that Zim knows what he shouldn't interfere with, how exactly are you going to come across these humans, and how are you to annihilate them?"

Dib scowled. "I already told you. I'm not going to 'annihilate them.'"

"Yes, yes. I forgot. You human filth-creatures don't just _kill_ each other. You _murder_."

It took all of Dib's self-control not to massacre the former invader right there. Zim was still making fun of his concept of humanity, Dib's weak spot. "Listen, you OBVIOUSLY aren't taking my situation seriously, so will you please leave? I need to be alone and think things through."

Zim, surprisingly, followed Dib's proposal and headed towards the door, but not before pausing right before he opened it and softening his gaze. "You know, Dib-filthy, no one knows more about killing their own for the greater good than Zim does. Destroying another Irken's PAK is the worst taboo the mighty Irken Empire possesses. The equivalent to your… Irthanoid… concept of murder. As _insanely superior_ to all other races as Irkens may be, I have come to realize that my empire is under the wrong leadership, being led down the wrong path. Irk has become corrupt. Certain members must be _eliminated_, all permanent-like." Zim's face hardened again. "If it helps, Dib-creature, think of the ones you have to kill not as victims, but as casualties of war. Why not-"

Dib put his hand up, not wanting to hear any more. "That's enough, Zim. I need some space. Just… just... get out."

"Alright, Zim is leaving, but, just remember - the first kill is always the hardest – it gets easier from there." And with that, Zim quickly zipped out of the room.

"Yay! Iz jus' me an' ta' Flappeh!" GIR shrieked. Accidentally, Zim had left his insane minion behind. Dib promptly lifted the robot by the antenna, opened the door, and angrily flung him at Zim with the secret hope to give the Irken a concussion. He then swiftly closed the door. Suddenly emotionally drained, he slumped down and pressed his face into his knees, longing for a situation that wouldn't force him to compromise his morals this way.

* * *

Dib stared off into nothingness, trying to clear his mind, or at least get rid of the jitters in his stomach.

"Skeeb… SKEEB!"

"Huh – WHAA?" he exclaimed, toppling out of his obnoxiously tall chair onto the painfully not-soft floor. In typical Irken fashion, the height of the chair represented the rank and importance of the Armada intelligence heads. This was where Dib controlled Skeeb's brigade. Around him, the Irkens in chairs far closer to the ground relayed his commands to the brigade. Scattered about the room were similar "stations," as well as several large screens that displayed a variety of current information; the state of current conflicts, decrees from the Tallest, and the positioning of Irken military ships throughout the universe.

"You seem rather distracted, Skeeb." Dib, flat on his back, looked upwards at the voice's owner. General Tak, surrounded by a group of advisers, stood on a raised walkway, far above Dib's tall chair. They were too important to be on the ground floor with the lower-leveled communications officers.

Dib achingly pulled himself off of the floor. It was a bit of a fall, but he didn't sustain any serious injuries. He could feel PAK releasing nanites into his bloodstream to fix the bruising, anyway. "I'm sorry, General Tak. I was just thinking – the… uh… the human-Irthanoids… They… um… they've been rather quiet lately. They're planning something."

Tak frowned – Dib couldn't figure out if because of the apology, because of the humans, or because he called her "General Tak." It was probably a mix of all three. She motioned for Dib to join her up on the walkway. Dib stepped on a silver disc just large enough to stand on. The disc levitated upwards until he reached Tak and company. Dib advanced onto the walkway, leaving the disc to descend back down to the floor.

"We've managed to intercept a human transmission -"

Dib's heart pounded. "A-a transmission? From where? Who? Wha-what did it say?"

"As I was ABOUT to say, a transmission from the planet Vasq - where our intelligence has reason to believe that Membrane is currently located - to the planet Ressel. It appears that Earth is planning to knock out the Massive's communication matrix, and, in our confusion, attack the planets that aid Irk's infrastructure. Our sensors have picked up on a task force of Irthanoid ships currently headed in our direction."

"What type of ships?"

"We're not sure. The fact that we haven't even noticed them up until now and only after a very thorough sweep of the area verifies that they're stealth. They would still be under our radar if one of our officers hadn't found one of them emitting a low frequency. The nature of their goal leads me to believe that the task force consists of F-462 Spectre spacecraft, but their speed is slower than usual – there may be some other form of ship accompanying them. Regardless, they're close and moving closer."

"And how long do we have before they arrive?" Dib asked.

Tak ignored Dib's question and pulled a voice amplifier from her Pak. She aimed the thin metal rod to her throat and tapped a side-button with her thumb, causing a small laser to erupt from the tip momentarily. Dib quietly slipped back to his station, not wanting to draw attention to himself while Tak spoke to everyone.

Tak cleared her throat, a sound many times louder than it normally would have. All in the large room turned to look at her. She gave no opening statement – Tak didn't need one. She was, after all, second-in-command under the Tallest.

"Our sensors have picked up a task force of Earth ships located in quadrant four-nine-thirty-two-eleven, sector six-zero-forty-nine and headed towards the Massive. We have reason to believe they have the intent of cutting off our communications via electromagnetic pulses. Flobee, Larb, and Skeeb – you will deploy your brigades IMMEDIATELY to face this threat, and then come with me to discuss strategy. All others, bring reinforcements to the starboard side of the Massive and engage in defensive maneuver seventeen-two-four. The humans CANNOT reach the Massive. If they do, our communications system will collapse, making the ENTIRE empire prey to any further attacks. Do not fail."

As soon as it was clear that Tak had nothing more to say, an explosion of noise erupted across the room – orders being given. Dib sat in silence, completely removed from the chaos. _Fuck! I thought I could squirm my way out of this, but Tak's got me cornered. _

Dib felt eyes boring into him. After all – he was one of the three brigadier generals called out. Skeeb's lack of action was bizarre.

Dib inhaled deeply. _Pull it together, Dib. Pull it together…_ he exhaled, pushing the air out of his lungs in an attempt to push the anxiety out of his body as well. He breathed deeply a few more times until he felt that he could function on a seemingly normal level.

_All right – thinking clearly now… Let's see… If I let them succeed, then the Massive would have its communications down, which is a good thing, right? But that makes no sense. Dad ORDERED me to take them out. But, wouldn't it be better if the Massive were rendered helpless? I'd be able to easily steal information from the Irkens, as well as easily take out the Tallest, and maybe even Tak, a very real threat to Earth, if that were the case. So why would Dad ask me to defeat our men if the consequences of their success easily outweighed that of their failure? _

"_The outcome at our end will be the same…" _

_Unless… … … DAMN THAT MAN! They have no chance of succeeding! And he even took into account that I'd figure that out! Tak hasn't forced me into this – Dad had from the very beginning!_

He exhaled one last time upon the realization, pulling the newfound panic out of himself. _I'll have to do this. No other options… _

_Goddamnit…_

"Engage contact with Colonel Krunk." Dib commanded in a stern, controlled voice, giving away nothing of the vestiges of panic that dwelled within him moments before. A giant, screen-like hologram containing the image of a medium-sized Irken with an underbite appeared before his station.

"My general-" the Irken Field Commander began, but Dib cut him off.

"We've just received orders – a task force of human stealth ships of unknown type is in quadrant four-nine-thirty two-eleven, sector six-zero-forty-nine. We have reason to believe that the enemy ships have large-scale electromagnetic pulse capabilities, and with them, plan to knock out all communications. We believe that the target is the Massive, so they will not actively try to engage you, but do not let that make our forces any less ruthless. Do NOT allow them near the Massive.

"Combine the brigade with those of Larb, Flobee, and Slacks upon arrival. Once we, on the Massive, retrieve more information, you will receive more orders."

The small Irken onscreen gave a sharp salute. "Yes, General Skeeb." Dib made a small motion with his hand and the transmission was cut.

Tak gave a nod in his direction, indicating for Dib to follow her. The other three generals were already on the raised walkway, following their elite general. Dib gave a nod in return, stood upon the silver disc once more, and followed Tak into another room in silence.

* * *

Tak had the three brigadier generals situated on a platform several feet tall. A hole in the raised area revealed a large, shiny, black, egg-shaped section of floor underneath them. Three Lieutenant Generals that Dib only recognized from Tak's regular general meetings were already stationed before their screens. Before each Irken were three transparent, floating screens. Underneath the raised area sat various communications officers, more screens located above them.

"Initiate hologram!" Tak declared. Immediately the screens before the generals blipped to life, and the black section of floor erupted raised, floating holograms. In shock, Dib jumped backwards, but the other Irkens stood still, expecting the image to appear; they had all done this before. A miniature Massive and miniature Irken Armada were projected in the round space between the generals. A grouping of blue-colored blips moved, in close formation, towards the holographic mothership. Dib inwardly grimaced, knowing already what they were.

"We need to know what we'll be up against; we already know that this is an Earth attack, and that they sent F-462 Spectres Those must be masking the signals of whatever other ships might be in the wing. Larb, send a small, disposable flight to engage them. Tell them to turn their visuals on so that we may know what those _inferior_ humans are trying to attack us with this time."

"Right away, Ma'am!" Larb barked out with a sharp salute. He quickly began giving orders to the images on his screens. The frown on his face signaled that he very much hated having his force deemed the most "disposable."

The tension hung in the air as the entire room watched Larb's flight approach the human formation. The group of red Irken Spittle Runners inched towards the mysterious blue blips on the hologram. Time seemed to slow down. No one said anything.

Dib steeled himself for what would most certainly be a shattering of his moral code.

Finally, one of the communications drones broke the silence. "General Tak, visualization has been confirmed."

**

* * *

Well, ZADR fans – long time no see, eh? No excuses; this fic was put on hiatus for **_**entirely**_** too long, and I suck. I apologize.**

**That aside, I am currently working on chapter 8, which, theoretically, should be finished in much shorter time than it took me to finish this one.**

**Many thanks to the 35 people who reviewed that last chapter during my 2 year hiatus. You guys rock! **


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